[TAWNY] too tired to fight.

[deacon reid rudman]

The last few days had been long and tiring, mentally draining Deacon to the point where he was literally a zombie again. When he was speaking, the sentences were quiet and distant and sometimes made no good sense. He felt like this world was coming crashing around him all over again, and he was doing all he could not to just break down and sob. This was his baby laying in this hospital bed, hooked to all kinds of wires and machines. She'd been in a medically induced coma when the pain medicines stopped working.

He sat down carefully in the chair next to the bed and laid his head down beside her, reaching over to gently run his finger over the back of her small hand. This wasn't the first time he'd done this. But he certainly hoped it would be the last. He was tired of seeing his baby hurting like this. Granted the last time was when her mother had gone into early labor and given birth to what he thought was the smallest baby ever. The nurse came in and told him they were still looking for someone matching her blood type, then left without waiting for him to respond. Probably because she knew he wouldn't.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan hadn't been given much of a choice when they figured out his blood time. Saving two lives made it okay if they lost one, right? So they had pulled Connor into Bandit's room, kept himhooked up. Eyes half open, glazed and pained as he struggled with his life. Liver transplant. They had a liver but not enough blood. And Bandit needed a transfusion. Forget morals, it seemed.

Jordan looked over at Deacon brokenly as he was pushed into a chair between the beds. Two different surgeries in the same room. Like this woupd ever happen outside of here. He arms were tugged away from where he had them crossed, and he swallowed fearfully. Honestly, Jordan had never been one for needles. They had run his blood yesterday, found drugs in his system. He had been punished, though his hair hid his bruised jaw. He was uneasy, in a panic, without those pills in his system, tears falling dwn his cheeks. Lazy asses wanted to get it done at the same time.

He whimpered as a needle was pressed into one arm, then the other, and connected to both patients, and he gagged as he watched the tubes fill with his blood.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon looked up as Jordan came in, looking pale and fragile. But he didn't think he himself looked much better. He hadn't slept in days. He heard Bandit whimper in her sleep and realized the medicines were wearing off and she was in pain again. He kissed the top of her head and hoped a nurse would be in soon. She was too little to be hurting like this.

He reached over, gently running his fingers through Jordan's hair as he pulled his knees up into the chair with him. He wasn't sure he wanted to lose Jordan to save Bandit. And even then, there was a chance she wouldn't have enough blood anyways and he'd lose them both. It just seemed sick. No life was worth more than another, but apparently, that's how they saw it. He leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to Jordan's forehead. He felt like he was tiptoeing around the boy more than he was before now. But he guessed it's what he deserved, dragging Jordan into his and Perseus' fight.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan closed his eyes at the kisses. He was exhausted, and now they were trying to take enough for two. He felt bad, having been in the middle of their figjt, hadn't wanted to hear those things. Because Jordan was no better than Connor. Not wi th drugs, or being abused. And he wondered why Deacon should treat him any different.
They had started surgery on Connor, pulled a curtain, but Jordan felt sick, shaky.
He dropped his head, breathing softly.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon felt miserable. There was no other way to put it. Everything he'd ever cared for was in this one room, and they were both slipping through his fingers. He wrapped his arms around his knees and lowered his head, trying not to cry. He wasn't sure if this could get any worse than it already was. "I love you.." He told Jordan quietly, not sure he could live with himself if something happened to the boy and he never told him. He'd never told Kera, but he'd never really loved her either. And he wasn't going to lie and tell her he did. He never lied about anything. Deacon just kept his head down, not wanting to look up as the door opened and footsteps wandered to his daughter's bed.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan blinked up at him in surprise. He wanted to hug him, comfort him, but he couldn't. And he didn't know what to say. "¥ou too..." He whispered. He didn't wan Deacon blaming himself. It wasn't his fault. He closed blue eyes, dizzy already.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon sat there for a moment more, fighting tears before he'd finally had enough. He got up and walked over to Jordan, grabbing gauze and tape from the table. He carefully pulled the needle out, placing the gauze on the needle hole before he taped it down. "Just.. go. It's not worth it." He mumbled quietly, walking back to Bandit. He ran his hand gently through her red hair, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

[jordan marcus ballard]

"I-..no Deacon.. She needs it." He insisted, brushing his hair back and touching his jaw. "I can do this for them both..it's okay.." Amd heneeded to gain the staff trist again since the knew about the drugs. He felt terrible.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon shook his head, curling up in his chair. "I'm not putting it back, Jordan. This is sick. I'm not losing two people. You're just gonna have to get over it." He said quietly. Perseus had offered to stop taking his medicine if that's what it took, but Deacon told him no. That'd mean his brother died too. He coughed into his arm, looking over at Bandit.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan shook his head. "No Deacon. You're not losing your daughter.. I'm okay. Let me do this.." No, he didn't like needles. But he couldn't just watch her die... He huffed. "I'll call a doctor in if your don't do it." He mumbled stubbornly.

[deacon reid rudman]

"Then I guess you're shit out of luck cause most of them have a meeting today. And if you manage to get to the button at the bottom of the bed, you're one bad motherfucker cause you don't look like you can talk a paragraph let alone wrestle me for the remote." He was adamant that he wasn't going to lose everyone he loved. He didn't want to lose anyone. He wanted his family here. And Jordan was family now.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan scowled, sitting up, slowly getting to his feet, dizzy out of his kind. He wasn't one to takechallenges, but this was different. He pushed hair from his face again, shivering as he made a move to go for the remote.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon reached over, grabbing Jordan's wrist. "No, Jordan." He said sternly. He shook his head, slipping his fingers between the boy's. "You're not doing this. You already gave blood once. Crackers and apple juice isn't gonna make this better. You have to stop."

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan flinched, then huffed. "He'll need more too.. And Bandit needs it. Let me.." He pleaded brokenly. He couldn't sit and let this happen if he could actually help. Stumbling, he leaned against Deacon. "You can't tell me no...not 'till they're fixed Deacon.."

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon shook his head, wrapping his arms around Jordan. "I can tell you no. You're not giving any more blood until you're able to." He kissed the side of his head, sitting down and gently pulling the boy into his lap. "It's gonna be fine. We need you."