[QUINN] Devil's Bitch

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor gave up on trying to stand and remained where he was. "Maybe I-I do want to hear," He spat. "Bec-cause I see nothing i-in myself worth caring about." His eyebrows furrowed. But then Quinn was speaking and Connor began to shake his head faintly. "I-I never should have let you in..." He murmured. "I kn-new the moment you gave m-mea chance without judgement that y-y-you deserved so much better.. I didn't want y-you hurt but I was s-still too selfish to turn you a-away the moment we meant.. And... And I'm s-sorry... Ishould h-have, then and there..."

He raised his head, blue eyes searching Quinn's face. "I don't give a-a damn about myself.. You caring sc-cared me... I didn't want y-you broken...didn't want you t-to deal with this... But I wanted s-somebody to care so bad.." His jaw trembled and he tightened it.

[tarquin finley ellis]

The anger poured in, and he started to shake slightly. "Then why do you fucking care? Just because you can't see anything doesn't mean you have to blind everyone else! Let it go! If you can't be happy then you might as well let someone be! Damnit, I tried, okay? Fuck you, I don't want to feel these things." He snarled, but he wasn't disagreeing with the other words Connor spoke. Yes, the male should have told him to go away. How many things wouldn't be broken had Connor just done that? Quinn would have wanted to be a better person. He wouldn't have cared at all...

He didn't want to listen anymore, didn't want anything to be pulled to the surface. It just made everything worse, just drove the cuts deeper. And Quinn was so, so pissed off about it. Part of him just wanted to cover his ears and yell like a child to drown out the sound. But the words only edged him on. "But I cared! That's what you say you wanted! I loved you!" Quinn wanted to hit Connor, he really did. His hands balled into fists at his side. "And you still fucking threw me away." There was so much heat flowing off of his skin, and he was having difficulty controlling it.

[connor crayze sykes]

"I know you did!" Connor cried, tears spilling over. "And I was a-afraid! Makism prov-vided a chance to s-save you from so much worse..." He finally managed to get to his feet. "I h-hurt you because I cared Quinn! I-It was better this way...better t-to lose me then, i-instead of waking u-up with me dead beside you, o-or collapsing a-and never getting back up because my h-heart finally failed!"

Tears fell down his face, shaking hands finding Quinn's cheeks, and he kissed him deep and slow. Connor was trwmbling, wings tucked close to his body. He rested his forehead against Quinn's, his tears cntinuing to fall. "I c-cared..." He whispered, voice husky, hushed. "I-I still do... I don't want y-you to watch me die.... I-...that's the only r-reason, Quinn... You could h-have anyone you wanted wr-rapped around your pretty little finger... F-find somebody who c-can make you happy.." He kissed his jaw. "S-somebody who has a better ch-chance at tomorrow than I do.. I-I never wanted you hurt. Forgive m-me...."

[tarquin finley ellis]

It's ripping through him, poking holes in the thing that's keeping him from falling apart. It had worked for hours, and it felt like everything was crumbling around him. No, he couldn't let that happen. There wasn't enough left before he finally just hollowed out completely due to the need to crawl away from the pain. Letting go of everything was better then feeling even this. He was still shaking; not fully going all out, but ripples across the skin when Connor got to his feet. Quinn fought the urge to knock him back down, but only because that could have killed the male with all the built up fury flowing through his veins. He tried to keep still.

His eyes were burning, smoldering as the words kept coming from Connor. Shut up, shut up, shut up! It ran through his head, and finally something flashed in his eyes. There was disregard for his own carefully concealed secrets at this point. He doesn't want to even remember, but now he has to. Forced to, because the precise words Connor had chosen. But before he could even spit them out, the male was touching his cheeks. And then kissing him. Quinn's breath caught, but he couldn't fight it; whimpering into the kiss, hands itching to crush Connor to him, but knowing that would stop...everything.

Quinn stared dully and defeated at Connor now, hearing the words and having no more venom to spit at the male. The heat had faded to embers. "Bastard. I wanted you. I didn't care that you were dying. Whatever was left was better then nothing." The words are just there, barely anything in them but exactly what's been said. He pulled Connor's hand, pressed it flat over his heart. "You aren't the only one that might not wake up tomorrow. I just have much better camouflage." He let go of Connor's hand. "Who knows, maybe I'll show you someday." His lips are a grim line.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor had seen the look in Quinn's e yr s, but he had been too desperate to care. And then his hand was being pulled to Quinn's heart and he swallowed, letting it rest there even after it was let go of. "I'm s-sorry.." He whispered brokenly. "I d-didn't know.." He was shaking terribly, but he didn't move away.

His face found the crook of Quinn's neck, leaving him terribly vulnerable and defenseless with the action. He didn't care anymore, felt so terrible...
"I didn't know w-what to do...I sh-should have given you a chance.. I'm s-sorry."

[tarquin finley ellis]

Quinn had already decided how to deal with that little heart problem. Ignore it. There had been only three bad cases so far, and he wanted to keep it that way. A murmur occured, and he laid down until it went away so it didn't escalate. There was no way he was going to let them hook him up to one of those little boxes or anything. They could kiss his ass at that point, because if it got to that, he supposed it was just another way of giving up. Quinn wouldn't allow people to look at him as if he's disabled. He heard Connor's words, felt the shaking. "I didn't want you to know." He said simply, voice bleak. He didn't really want anyone to know.

He just stood there unmoving when Connor's face found the crook of his neck, hearing the words and sighing. Quinn didn't want Connor to feel sorry over the heart problem thing. It annoyed him, made him feel like less of a person. It's why he doesn't talk about it, why he doesn't let any of it run his life. And he won't be willing to talk about it again. That's as far as he was willing to converse about it. So he doesn't say anything at Connor's last words, not sure if it's only the information that makes him say any of that. Quinn aimlessly stroked a wing; waiting.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor shook his head. "I-I'm here making your life h-hell because I'm dying, a-and you fail to tell me I-I'm not the only one at risk?" Connor held onto him, mainly because if he let go, he knew he would be on the ground again in moments. "I-...I c-can't give you the love you were looking f-for Quinn..I don't want to h-hurt you...Never did... But y-you should talk to Makism..whether y-you like him still or not, f-figure that out.. I... I wanna be y-your friend..." Or be abused because how possessive Quinn seemed to be... either way, it was attention and he would be fine with that.

[tarquin finley ellis]

He snorted, annoyed at the words. Terrible excuse and Quinn was sticking to that opinion. "Anyone can suddenly die. Which reminds me, I killed your ward's head doctor a few days ago. Hope you weren't attached." The words were bland, and he obviously didn't feel any remorse over what he'd done. Yet it was true enough, anyone could die quickly, and that in itself was an interesting way to put it into an example. Right? But anyone could aquire a complication, anyone could go from healthy to dead in a matter of moments. That was life.

Quinn tensed when Connor spoke again, and there was a low growl in his throat. "Don't tell me what to do about Makism." He snapped, prying the male away from himself and stepping away. That was not something to be under discussion, and Quinn wasn't looking to fix anything. "When I decide you aren't worth anything anymore, Makism will probably strangle you for what you've ruined. He's done it for far less, so don't bother trying to fix anything for him." He added coldly. Honestly, Quinn could be positive Makism would try as it was. "So what is it you've decided to try and eat?" The inquiry was not so much asking as demanding.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor's eyebrows furrowed as he listened. Quinn was just as fucking stubborn as he himself. When he was pried away however, Connor staggered and sat heavily on the bed, not sure he could actually even hold himself up.
He didn't want to eat, didn't want to care about his body. He knew Quinn wouldn't like refusal. But Connor was Conor, stubborn and stupid and always bitingoff more than he could chew when it came to people's patience. Itwas a wonder that the entire community didn't already hate him the way Makism did. Maybe all he was good for was being a heartbreaker, toofixed on his drugs and self mutilation.
"I-If I kiss you..will y-you forget about the food..?" He wanted to make it up to Quinn, even if initiating things first was rare for Connor. Gentle hands reachsd to brush over the other male's stomach, exhausted blue eyes looking up for an answer.

[tarquin finley ellis]

Yes, he was stubborn. Terribly so. Thing was, Quinn could and would push for what he wanted, and fight against what he didn't. He'd fight tooth and nail if he finds a reason worth it. Reasons didn't always have to be good, either. Some of Quinn's reasons to fight another person were just plain off the wall sometimes. Just how it was. And no, he wasn't going to like Connor's refusal, and he was bound and determined to do something about it if he had to. Push and he'd push back. Quinn didn't like the idea of Connor withering away to die. He found it pathetic, this giving up on life like this.

The words -- question -- make Quinn's eyes flash dangerously. He doesn't pull away from the hands at his stomach, but his expression is sharp. "It's an empty gesture, it won't mean anything. Why would I want that?" It's a blunt response, but it's true enough. If Connor could never feel those things for him, them why dangle something fake in front of him? It only irritated him more.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor bit his lip, not so sure that the gesture would be empty. He was attracted to the male, wnted something between them. And yet he knew it couln't work out romantically now. He could still express his passion, his care. He leaned up for a tender desoertionand sweet kiss, shaking fingers continuing to trace Quinn's stomach. He kissed over his chest slowly, blue eyes never straying from Quinn's face. His hand bruhed the male's jeans and he hesitated, then straightenw up. "S-sorry.." Shame flickered across his face. "I don't-" Jaw trembling, his teeth clenched. But anything for attention or a way to get a fix was enough in his desperation. "I-I had n-no plans to eat."

[tarquin finley ellis]

He waits for Connor to say something, to find another way to try to change his mind on the food thing. Quinn doesn't want to change his mind. He has no want to let Connor find a way out of this. It's important somehow; getting the male to eat something, to stay alive longer. Quinn does want Connor to stick around. What else would hold his interest if it isn't the winged male? There's plenty of prey in this place, but nothing has been able to spark any interest so far aside from Connor. Of course that was before, and the predator in Quinn now was much, much different. It did not need the same things...

Quinn doesn't respond back to the kiss this time; instead he tilts his face away. He doesn't move at the tracing of Connor's fingers or the kisses over his chest; he's still as he stands there, expression pensive. "Are you mocking me?" The words are low, icy. Not even a movement or interest when Connor's hand brushes his jeans. He noted the shame though, and he frowned, eyebrows furrowed. "Why am I getting the vibe that you're acting like a whore right now?" His gaze was disdainful. This was not feeling right to him.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor just lowered his gaze in response, not really sure what to say. Quinn was right. Hr was acting like a whore, and he wasn't even sure why. Desperate to be forgiven, be offered attention and avoid eating all in one. He should know better than to think it would work. He let Quinn's shirt settle back down over his stomach again, apologizing brokenly under his breath before bringing a hand to h is grumbling and twisting stomach with a grimace. It didn't matter how he tried to ignore it, the pain wasn't going away.

[tarquin finley ellis]

There isn't any more words to be given when Connor's gaze was lowered. That was a reply as it was, and Quinn was not pleased with it. Things didn't get to be smoothed over that easily, and perhaps Quinn simply did not want them to be. This twisted little web was easier. He wasn't going back on the things he had said, and any little lapse Quinn had was gone again. That was as nice as it got, and there was no reason for a repeat. Closed doors, that's all it was.

Quinn still has nothing to say to the apology, only watching when Connor's hand moves to the male's own stomach. He inhaled, annoyed with how stubborn Connor was being, but Quinn would dish it right back. He wasn't in a joking mood. "Stop trying to twist your way out of this. You need to eat something. I don't even know how you are still alive going this long without food. I'm not losing you because you're being a stubborn ass." The words were even, but Quinn was serious. He wasn't letting this go.

[connor crayze sykes]

"Y-you already lost me i-if you won't ler me back in.." Connor slurred. He was so confused. Quinn was still being an ass to him, yet didn'twant to lose him? It was making his head spin more than it already was and he wasn't sure how much more he could take.
But he couldn't argue anymore, whether he wanted to or not. Now it was more of a thing about winning, going against what was being said, proving they had no control about how long he was here. He was starving, he /needed/ food... It hurt terribly.
"I'm not e-eating." He muttered, doubting what he said even mattered. He had no strength to fight anybody off.