[CON] let your heart win.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon glanced over at his daughter tapping a pen against the wall, humming something to herself. She always managed to break his heart by doing the smallest things. He'd never forgive himself for taking this job. He looked up as a nurse brought Connor in, then glanced over at the calender to see the date. Another pointless diagnostic check up. And being as busy as he had been, he couldn't make the time to go see his patients. So they were forced to come down to the morgue.

"Bandit. Go play with the nice nurse." He told the little red head. She glanced up at Connor, then ran towards the nurse with her pen in hand.

"Bye Daddy!" She called. She paused, looking up at Connor. "Bye bye." She told him before the nurse coaxed her out.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor struggled only briefly as he was brought down to the morgue. Something seemed eerily..foreboding with the entire affair. The fact that the doctor was quite clearly male did not help the teenage boy at all. But, he supposed, the guy had some stunning looks going for him. It was however the sight of the redhead that relaxed him, muscles easing up. And he smiled at her weakly as she spoke, waving a thin scarred hand in response to her words.

Blue eyes glanced back towards the male, who Connor could only guess to bethe coroner. Why he would bring his kid here, Connor had no clue. He just knew he was starting to think the government had other plans in store. Coughing huskily, he looked hesitantly around the room, breaths soft and uneasy, especially as the heavy door fell closed. The sound caused him to jump, his thin shoulders tensing again before he turned. "J-just another person to feel me up? I-I got that en-nough from my own father," He sneered bitterly, absently keeping his back to the wall so he was a little more protected. He couldn't help his nerves. Not to mention how jittery he was after recently coming down from a high.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon looked up as the boy spoke, drawing his eyebrows together. He put the scalpel in his hand down, reaching up to pull down his thin mask to his chin. "It's funny how everyone around here thinks someone's out to get you. If you're going to sink so low as to assume the guy working with dead bodies all day wants you, I've got a lot of land to sell you." He mumbled, pulling off his bloody gloves. He sat them on the edge of the table, kicking his chair gently over to the boy.

"You may as well sit down. Unless you want to make yourself useful and do something. But I guess a bunch of frozen corpses don't want you, do they?" He rose an eyebrow, then walked over to the sink as he pulled up his mask again to hide his piercings.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor watched the man warily, unable to help but wince as the chair was kicked towards him. Even so, he took it gratefully and sat down slowly, rubbing at his nose before scratching his arm. He watched the guy with calculating, cautious eyes as he listened to him, his own face growing bitter. He wanted so badly to retort, snap a witty reply. Bt he didn't dare push his buttons, didn't know what the man was capable of. And he certaintly didn't need to be on the bad side of somebody in the same room with him who had surgical tools and skills.

Connor shifted his weight, pulling his hoodie sleeves over the tops of his hands nervously as he watched the guy pull his mask over his face again. Something about it was oddly attractive, but that was 't domething Connor would ever readily admit. He ran his tongue over his lip ring slowly, stomach growling in complaint. A hand reached to cover the thin incave, as if to silence the sound of hunger. Another rugged cough shook his thin figure, and he cleared his throat awkwardly, just wanting to be done and over with this. Surely it was a regular check up? It wouldn't be long, right?

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon watched the boy half expecting him to lash out at him for being so rude. But his pushing buttons wasn't working. The boy wasn't budging. He pulled back on his gloves, reaching up to grab the sprayer so he could wash off the table. "You're not getting any better. Besides not jumping over this table to shank me for insulting you." He commented, picking up his tools. He turned them over so the sharp ends were in his hands, then held the bloody handles out to the boy. "Mind washing these off?" He asked. He mentally went through all of his tactics to try and get the boy to break. He needed to see if he'd at least mentally got any better than he had been.

He stood there patiently, his bright green eyes never leaving the boy's face. He'd seen many attractive people around here. But none ten years younger than him. And certainly none that simply looking at them made him feel like his was robbing the cradle. "Why don't you eat? You don't like eating alone? Or the awful food just isn't to your liking?" He asked, studying the boy.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor stared back at him defiantly, but was too terrified to ever meet his gaze. "Why sh-should I care enough to e-eat?" He muttered, coughing until he gagged. He bit his lip, eyeing the held out tools warily before stumbling to shaky legs. It took a moment or two to find his balance then, without a care, he took the blood handles warily, not daring touch the guy in any way. "Didn't a-ask to be here anyway." Slinking towards the sink he ran the water, constantly glancing over his shoulder with that same unease.

Once the thigs were rinsed, he slipped a scalpel into his hoodie pocket, doubting he would succeed in leavig with it. It was worth the shot however. He set the other things on the table, unwilling to approach the coroner and hand them to him directly. It was too nerve wracking. And a waste of energy he could be using to sit back down. Which he did, heavily, arms crossing over his thin abdomen afterwards. He didn't want to be here, screw what people thought about him being abused. It was better than this... In some strange place where he couldn't get out.

[deacon reid rudman]

"Not even the staff asked to be here, child. No one /wants/ to be in this hell hole." Deacon muttered. He walked over to the trash can, slowly pulling off his gloves. "You're not the first patient I've had down here. And you certainly won't be the last. But I can tell you one thing. You'd be the first to manage to hurt yourself with a dull scalpel. My daughter plays with those tools. And she's almost two. If I wouldn't give her a real tool, I sure as fuck wouldn't put one in the hands of you people."

He tossed away his gloves, reaching up to pull off his mask. It went into the trash can too before he shrugged out of his lab coat. He held his hand out to the boy, looking at him impatiently. "The sooner you hand it over, the sooner we get to go get my kid and then we can eat." He didn't expect the boy to hand anything over easily. But he knew these patients well enough to know if anyone was going to steal something to hurt themself with, it would be him. He would have said it was a shame, had he not had scars littering his own arms.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor glowered, knowing he should have figured Deacon was smart enough. He could still use it thiugh..find ways if he refused to give it back. Arms remained crossed over himself stubbornly and he glared at him. "What, are y-you going to force feed me?" He muttered in challenge, supposing starvation was always another way to go out. It wasn't like it would be difficult, he hadn't eat recrntly in several days, and even then it was clearly never enough or steady enough to do anything for his health or weight.

At the same time though, Connor was ashamed. It wasn't just thst he refused to eat, but that doing so made him terribly sick now that he never did. His body was in such an unhealthy state that it didn't matter what he put into his stomach- it upset it. He worked his jaw slowly in defiance, shifting his weight. But the man's eyes were starting to bother him and he bit his lip. Agitation flated and he finally slammed the thing down on the table. A dull blade that couldn't cut wasn't worth being hit. He could find something sharper later.

[deacon reid rudman]

Talking to the boy made Deacon suddenly very glad he had become a father before he took this job. Because he knew he couldn't get through the day without punching the kid in the nose for being difficult if he hadn't. "I just want to see my daughter. If you want me to hold you down and feed you, I can do that too." He said. But he didn't mean it. He didn't want to eat the food anymore than they did. The only person that seemed fond of it was Bandit.

He watched the boy finally produce the item in question, and put his hands into his pockets. "Why do you have to hurt yourself, Sykes? We all have a reason we do it. What's your's? Because.. between you and me, it never gets better. There isn't a pill or a person who's going to finally make everything okay. But I can promise if you live as long as you're supposed to, someone's gonna come along and make it all a little easier to handle. It's never going to stop though." He pulled his phone from his pocket, sending a quick text before it disappeared again. A moment later, the same nurse came through the door with his small red head. She put Bandit on her feet, and the little girl ran over, latching onto Deacon's leg. "Hi baby." He smiled, gently playing with one of her pigtails.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor remained stubbornl, quiet as he listened, and finally managed a seemingly indifferent shrug. "Maybe I-I don't want anyone to make it okay. Maybe I j-just want escape. But nobody will f-fucking let me die." His voice went flat and he pulled himself feebly to his feet as Deacon pulled his phone out to send a text. "This hellhole o-only feeds the flame," He growled, tensing as the door opened. But that little girl...

He couldn't help his urge to relax with a young child around, their innocence so pure it was almost scary. Terrifying to think he had once been that way too. Everybody had. Yet here we was now, a hot mess of addictions and disease, locked up and treated like an animal, afraid of trusting anybody else. Trust was hard to come by, one of the hardest things in fact. He hated to think he used to be so..normal. So healthy and okay. Not anymore. No, here was far from that now, and doubted he would let himself have the chance to get that back even if he could.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon watched him relax at the sight of Bandit, wondering if his daughter really was a reason to smile to the rest of them. He'd gotten a lot of compliments on her, a few people saying they were glad she was there to prove that there really is life besides this torture. He picked her up, putting her on his hip. She smiled over at Connor, waving her small hand at him. "Sorry. She's probably the worst flirt around here." He said quietly, opening the door. He held it for Connor, then followed him out. Bandit wiggled on his hip, so he put her on her feet. The red head bounced over to Connor, holding her hand up to his.

"Eat wif us?" She asked, holding onto his finger. Deacon trailed along behind them, chewing absently on one of his snakebites. Bandit bounced along beside Connor, looking up at him occasionally.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor bit his lip before waving at the little girl. He glanced at Deacon with his comment but didn't offer so much as a word in response. He didn't know what he would say, wasn't used to letting anybody see how tenderhearted he really was inside. Still, trailing out of the morgue room, he took her little hand gently in his thin one, his tensely set shoulder muscles relaxing. A faint breath passed his lips, almost a relieved sigh. He forced a smile at her when he thought Deacon wasn't watching, leading her out towards the dining hall. "Sure," He mumbled with a nod.
He could only hope that just sitting with them would be enough satisfaction. He really didn't want to eat. That and he couldn't seem so willing to obey now, not after their little banter in the morgue. No, he'd refuse it. It was not only nature, but again that trust. They'd lied about a lot of things in getting him here, how did he not know the food was a lie as well?

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon walked slowly behind the two of them, listening to his daughter hum an old song he used to sing to her to get her to sleep. She waved at every person she passed, giving them a cheerful 'hey!' before she looked back up at the boy holding her hand. He opened the door for the two of them as they reached the cafeteria, honestly dreading finding out whatever it was they would be calling food today.

"Wash your hands." He told Bandit, helping her up to the sink. He took her hands in his to help her wash them before he sat her on her feet. She took her paper towel, drying off her hands carefully. "You turn." She told Connor, looking up at him with a smile.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor followed after her quietly, teeth baring down on his lip as she told him to wash his hands. He was tempted to say no, but remembering how happy his little sister always was when he did what she wanted had him stepping up to the sink to carefully wash his trembling hands. He dried them off after a moment, then ran one of them through his hair, slinking towards the kitchen area. Eyes scanned the menu slowly, glad to be in the more homely dining hall than the creepy hospital. He settled for a burger since it didn't look too terrible, even if he had no plans of eating.

Be a role model right? Well..to an extent. He wasn't one to be such a teacher, not with the kinds of things that he did. Blue eyes turned down to the little girl for a moment, waiting patiently for them to get their lunch before he started towards an empty table. He wasn't sure if he was expected to stay with the guy, if this was still a part of his check-up or not.[/blockquote]

[deacon reid rudman]

Bandit beamed up at him when he finished washing his hands. She toddled between the two of them on their way to the cafeteria. "What you want?" Deacon asked her. She pointed to Connor's tray in response, so he ordered them both a hamburger. He knew that she wouldn't eat if everyone around her didn't have exactly what she did. The only person he could guess she got that from would be his little brother. He carried their trays out to the table in the corner, sitting them down so he could help her up. She pulled her knees under her so she could reach her food, plucking up a fry to eat first.

"Good?" She asked Deacon, and he nodded, chewing quietly on the fry he'd picked up. She turned her attention to Connor, waiting earnestly for him to tell her his food was a good as their's. Deacon reached across the table for the ketchup. He squirted it on his fries, then on Bandit's before he put it back on the table. He tore apart his burger, not really interested in eating what he assumed was poorly cooked beef. He wasn't sure anyone should be subject to eating like this.