[CON] let your heart win.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor bit his lip, eyes growing tender as he pulled the little girl closer to himself, smiling slightly-truly-for the first time in awhile. He rocked her a bit so she wouldn't wake as he moved around and got comfortable. He nodded slowly as Deacon spoke. "I h-have 'testing' tomorrow..guessing y-you can say anything to me a-about that yet either huh..?" He had yet to know exactly what they were actually doing. Even urrent patients weren't allowed to enlighten newer ones until after the doctors had the chance to.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon just shrugged. Being the coroner, he probably could tell them what was going on and not get reprimanded much. If they were in a normal hospital. But they weren't, and this Rudman wasn't itching to get some odd needle stuck in his arm so they could see what happens to a twenty-something year old father of one. He didn't want to be in a test tube. "Same old song and dance, I guess. My brother says it's alright, but nothing ever really bothered him either. He got bit by a poisonous snake and said it tickled so.." His brother had always been far cooler under pressure than Deacon.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor eased up a bit, actually believing Deacon. It was a mistake most likely, but he didn't know that at the moment. He hummed something absently under his breath, a lullaby his mother used to sing, the same she had when he was in the hospital the first time he had collapsed. He relaxed a little more before reaching for his phone with an as usual shaking hand, flipping through pictures until he found one of his albino little sister. He slid it towards Deacon.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon picked up the phone from him, looking at the little girl on the screen. A million things ran through his mind to say, but being Deacon, he pushed most of them away as imposing, rude, or uncalled for despite them all being nice. "She's gonna be a pretty one." He said quietly, sliding it back to Connor after a moment. "I don't have any pictures to show you. Besides maybe Bandit's mom. Or her baby pictures. Or PJ." He shifted his weight again, bringing his thumb to his mouth to chew on it. He never talked about Kera, not if he could help it. He felt guilty he'd spent ten years sleeping next to a woman he could never love, someone who said she'd give him the world if he could let her in. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor slid it back into his pocket again, nodding. "I-it's fine if you don't want.." He was still edgy, but not as bad as he had been around him earlier. Even so, he couldn't brin himself to apologize for previous actions. He ran his fingers over Bandit's hair gently. His stomach twisted suddenly and he gagged the slightest bit, clearing his throat softly. "S-sorry.." He shivered, yawning before carefully crossing his legs under Bandit.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon pulled his phone from his pocket, scrolling slowly through the pictures he never went through. He slid it across the floor to Connor, not really worried about it breaking. The way he saw it, he didn't really need it. But somewhere deep inside, he knew if he lost those pictures, he'd go crazy. "Bandit looks just like her. But she's got bright eyes like my brother. And my temper." He said quietly, drawing his finger across the floor. What was really guilt most people mistook for him actually having been in love. "I was with her for ten years. All through high school. I said I wanted a baby, and we had Bandit. But she didn't live to see her. I spent.. two months in a hospital in LA with a four pound baby who couldn't breathe on her own.."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor looked through the pictures, breaths catching as he listened to Deacon. "I-...I'm so s-sorry." He felt guilty for giving him hell now, admitting how badly he wanted to die. "For what h-happened to you, and f-for earlier.." He bit his lip, reaching to rub at an eye tiredly. The thought of wanting to offer comfort had Connor's heart hammering- he couldn't imagine actually doing so.

[deacon reid rudman]

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I mean, besides my daughter not having a mom. But.." He shrugged again. He guessed her mom was in a better place if everything his mother had told him was true. He found it ironic someone who used to hit their oldest son upside the head with a frying pan for admitting he liked guys or he got a bad grade on his report card would preach about God and heaven like it was normal. He sat a little straighter, reaching up to rub his eye. "There's a lot she didn't know. And a lot she needed that I couldn't give. All in all, it was ten years of a really warm bed and dinner waiting for you after work."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor nodded slowly, realizing that maybe this guy understood a lot more than e thought. But he was older, too.. And a staff member, not a patient. They weren't meant to get along. Not well, not as friends. He pulled the blanket over to cover Bandit gently, smiling faintly down at her. "Well, sh-she grew up beautifully.." He whispered absently

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon didn't bother asking him what he said. He figured if someone wanted him to hear what they had to say, they wouldn't whisper it. He'd spent too many hours asking people to repeat themselves on the clock to do it off the clock. "Uh.. If you want, she can sleep with you tonight. She sleeps the night in Perseus' room all the time." He offered, pulling his pen out of his pocket to run it along the lines in the floor. But he doubted there was any dirt, not the way they bleached the floors. He would probably not be worried if Bandit ate off of them.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor hesitated, afraid of breaking her or somethig and then really having to hear it from the clearly stronger male. "Only..i-if your sure.." He found it odd anyone would trust him with their kid, let alone the guy he had been doing his best to hate all day. He was exhausted though, got tired far too easily for his liking, and already didn't feel good. But he'd forecd everything up earlier, there was nothing left to make him sick tonight. His stomach churned at the thought, the. He looked helplessly down at his phone, hating that he couldn't reach anybody since getting here.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon pulled himself to his feet, tugging the strings tighter on his pajama pants. He didn't realize until now that maybe he should have on a little more than a two-sizes-too-big pair of halloween print pajama pants and a baggy jacket he'd probably borrowed from his brother and never returned. He messed with the zipper a moment before he put his hands in the pockets of the hoodie. "Break my daughter and I'll break your face though." He said, walking over to give her a kiss on the head. "She has nightmares sometimes. Just turn her over onto her side and hum something to her and she'll quiet down." He fished in his pocket, then handed him a bright pink pacifier.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor flinched out of habit as he stepped over to kiss his daughter goodnight. He just nodded, swallowing, and scooted back to curl up with his head on the pillow, blanket draped over the both of them now. He kept an arm around her, hoping to sleep better than the last night or so he had been here.
His dreams, however, were riddled with the bright eyes of the coroner pinning him to the slab, and he was edgy most of the night, doing his best to stay still.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon walked back to his room, realizing just how empty his bed was when he finally laid down. He hadn't slept alone in more than ten years aside from the few occasional nights he had left his daughter with his brother. He pulled his jacket off, draping it over the end of the bed as he laid down. He tossed and turned for awhile before he finally curled up against the wall and fell asleep. But his normally dreamless night apparently wasn't what was in store for him this particular night. He woke with a start when his phone rang in his pocket, sitting up slowly to read over the message.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor hugged Bandit closer at some point in the night, tears falling down his face. Always stressed, never able to relax. Sleeping alone was usually the worst, but tonight he was just unsettled. At some point he finally eased up and fell into a deeper sleep than he had before, and eventually the dreams and nightmares gradually faded. However, he never once let go of the little girl, missed the comfort of another beside him.