[CON] let your heart win.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon walked with Bandit to their room, using the key to open the door. He sat her down on her feet, and she toddled over to the bed she shared with her father. She pulled herself up on it, reaching for her teddy bear as Deacon made his way to the shower. He left the door open so he could hear her before he started to run the water. He climbed into the shower in his boxers in case she came in. He was content to listen to her humming and the running of the water while he stood there, a million things running through his mind. He finally decided to wash off, shutting off the water so he could dry off and strip of his wet boxers.

"My turn!" Bandit exclaimed, toddling in as he wrapped the towel around his waist. He helped her into the shower, walking out to get dressed in his pajamas.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor flushed and washed his hands before shuddering. He pulled his thin shirt off his body, wishing he had something in his room to just end it all. But he had no will to try even that at the moment, whether Deacon worried about killing himself while in his room alone or not. He pulled his shirt off of his thin, bony figure and collapsed back on the bed, not bothering worry about blankets. Eyes closed as he panted softly, eventually falling into uneasy sleep.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon helped his little girl bathe and put on her pajamas before he pulled her favorite book from under the pillow. He laid there with her, reading it quietly to her until she fell asleep. But the more he laid there, the more he felt bad. He didn't feel bad he'd helped the boy, but he felt bad that he had made him do something he really didn't want to do. He finally had enough of thinking, and pulled a sleeping Bandit into his arms. He hugged her close as he left out the room. He walked slowly to the boy's, knocking on his door once he got there.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor jumped awake at the knock on the door, wiping sweat from his face. He gagged. "C-come in.." He mumbled softly, not even bothering get up or cover his scarily thin, scarred body. He was so past caring at this point. It was obvious he wouldn't get along with anybody, even the coroner hating him. Not that he could bother worry about it. Just...even Connor could only take so much alone was all. He cleared his throat, trewmbling.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon opened the door slowly, then closed it behind him. He hugged Bandit close to him, looking over the boy. "I'm really not supposed to be here.. I just.. Are you okay?" He asked quietly, hoping no one saw him come to the boy's room. He could only imagine just how badly he would get in trouble if someone found him here with a boy so much younger than him, he could be his son almost. 'My little brother's older than him..' He thought, gently rubbing his daughter's back. "I'm not trying to hurt you. I want you to be okay. You could have so much potential.."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor gagged again. "What pot-tential?" He mumbled, rolling onto his side from his back, the jut of ribs prominant compared to the beginning of an incave of a stomach. He draped an arm over himself, hiding the tattoo and the dent over his heart. "I'm a f-freak, sick, and alone. You s-said it yourself...I'll f-find a better way out." He bit is lip, blue eyes briefly catching Deacon's own before he looked away brokenly. He was lost, left alone in the dark. He didn't know what else to do anymore except to try and shut the lights out perminently.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon shrugged. Even he didn't know. It was just something he was told to tell the mentally ill patients, the ones they might be able to keep off a slab in the freezer. "I was just reading a mental cue card." He said, sitting down on the floor behind the door. He figured if anyone came in, at least he'd be hidden. He chewed on his lip, looking down at the baby in his arms. He gently brushed her hair back, then hugged her close again. "I'd be dead too if it wasn't for my daughter. My mother used to abuse me and hit me and she made it a point to tell me all the time I was a mistake. I tried hanging myself in high school. And my little brother had to cut me down. I can't say I know exactly how hard it's been for you, but I can say I know it blows. And it's rough."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor listened to him, chewing on his lip. "Yeah we'll, I-I lost the last good pers-son I-in my life the moment I entered th-these gates.." He mumbled, reaching up to wipe at an eye. He had barely noticed he was crying until the tears dripped onto his sheets. He closed his eyes with a shaky breath, still feeling nauseous even though he was pretty sure his stomach was empty again. Maybe that was the reason he felt that way. So empty. "I'm t-tired of bein' alone..l-looked at like I am... I-" What did the guy care? Connor's face hardened a bit again, trying to fight off emotion.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon listened to him quietly, fighting the urge to look over at him. He didn't think he could handle seeing the boy crying and knowing he couldn't go comfort him without losing his job. For all he knew, they had cameras in their rooms and someone was on their way to send him packing. He chewed on his lip, swallowing hard before he spoke. "No one wants to be alone, Sykes. No one sits there and chooses to lose everyone, or to be raised in a living hell, or to be constantly judged." He shifted his weight a bit, looking down at his daughter. "You don't have to be alone if you'd try to socialize with people. Go talk to my brother. He hasn't met a person he didn't like."

[connor crayze sykes]

"I can't.." Connor choked. He felt like an idiot, humiliated. And he wasn't sure why he was even admitting it. "I'm s-so scared of people n-now.." He reached for the blanket, but even that felt foreign to him. It wasn't his. He pushed it away again, shivering. He didn't feel good at all, but didn't want the guy knowing he'd just thrown everything up again. He didn't doubt he would still be force fed.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon finally looked up at him, more heartbroken than he should have been at seeing the boy. But the fact of the matter was, he reminded Deacon of himself ten years ago. And in a way, it reminded Deacon of himself today, too. "I'm scared of people, too. I'm in a fucking cell like a criminal with a one year old, for fuck's sake. It doesn't give me an excuse to lay there and.. and hate the world. If you'd just get to know people, there wouldn't be a single person who wouldn't worship the ground you walk on.." He trailed off, patting Bandit's back gently. "You're a really good looking kid. And sometimes, using good looks to your advantage isn't so bad."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor let out a trembling breath. "Until I-it gets you raped every day of y-y-your life.." He whispered. "Bes-sides. I'm s-scarred, skinny a-and sick." He drew his legs up a bit, goosebumps rising on his bar arms as he kept his eyes fixed on Deacon's daughter so he had an excuse not to look at him.

[deacon reid rudman]

"So's half the patients here." He said quietly, studying the tiles on the floor. The longer he was locked in this place, the more it really did feel like a jail cell. He slowly ran his tongue over the back of his lip, finally letting his head rest against the wall. He glanced over at the boy only to notice it was Bandit he was watching. "You wanna hold her? She sleeps like a boulder." He offered. He doubted the boy would really hurt her. He couldn't say he'd read his record, but he could say he didn't seem violent towards others.

[connor crayze sykes]

He hesitated at the offer, uncertain if he should trust him. Even so he nodded. "S-sure.." He struggled to sit up, ever scar and laceration made visible with the action. "My l-little sister.." He murmured. "I-...I can't j-just lose touch with her.. She's only seven.." And all he had left. But with how sick he was, who knew when he was dead with or without suicide? He chewed on his lip ring awkwardly, biting the inside of his cheek.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon got carefully to his feet, walking over to the boy. He laid Bandit down beside him, watching her scoot towards him and bury her face in his side. He sat back down in his spot, drawing his knee up close to rest his arm on. "If you promise you're gonna try to keep eating, I can see what strings I can pull for you." He said quietly, looking down into his lap. He chewed on his lip slowly, not daring to raise his gaze to look at the boy again. "Sometimes.. If they think that a patient will get better with family contact, they'll make an exception. But only if a doctor recommends it. And certainly not if it impedes on their studies.."