[JORDAN] i don't know how to be fine when i'm not.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan shrugged, staring at the table. "I don't know.." He whispered. "I was going for music, guitar you know? But there isn't a point when we're locked here with no need for that." The place was huge, it could probably be turned into its own community when they had enough people for such a thing. Then maybe he would have a use. "Music wasall I ever had goingfor me."

[deacon reid rudman]

"Guitar isn't useless. Music is sometimes what keeps us sane.. It's the reason some of us aren't dead." He said quietly, playing with his now empty cup. He didn't care if people knew what he'd done. And under no circumstances should it be put past him, either. He's not above jumping from another balcony with a rope around his neck.

[jordan marcus ballard]

"Yeah..but I won't need a degree in it.." He shrugged, smiled the slightest bit. "I think getting a band together would be interesting. Maybe perform for the people here.. It'd be nice to see people smile..." He was talking more than usual right now, not really sure why since he was too shy to even look up half the time.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon nodded, though he doubted it would be much of a good idea. Where would they play? Sure, walking to class with someone playing acoustic under a tree was always nice when he was in college. But how pumped would people be for a concert in a caged in area. "Talent is a degree enough." He said quietly, standing up to get another cup of coffee. He patted Jordan's shoulder gently as he walked past.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan shrugged. "Never got me far.." He drew in a breath at the pat on the shoulder, but refrained from flinching and just fidgetted with the tabletop, staring at it as an excuse not to look up. It wasn't as hard to get him to after he actually warmed up to a person, but so far Jordan had found it better to stick to himself, avoid his asshole brother, and keep close with his sister. He leaned back carefully in his chair, not far enough for it to fall back however. He didn't need to be more embarrassed than he already felt.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon ordered him another coffee, paid for it with his money, then walked over to Jordan to drop a coin down the back of his shirt. "I forgot why we're even here.." He mumbled, walking back to his spot with his cup of coffee to gather his papers. He nodded towards the door, waiting for Jordan to get up before he started walking. "We can hang in my room. I think PJ smuggled a couple movies last time mom visited. Probably something dumb like Madea Goes to Jail or something." He shrugged, chewing on one of his snakebites as he walked.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan squirmed as the coin the dropped down his shirt, smiling when it clattered to the floor as he stood.
"Okay..." No harm done, right? Besides, Deacon was probably the only staff member he had spent the most time with, anyway. If he were to trust anyone in closed quarters around here, it would be him. He tucked his hands into his poclets, trailing after the coroner.

[deacon reid rudman]

"Leaving my coin. Fuck you, Ballard." Deacon teased, though he didn't smile. He couldn't say the feeling of trust was mutual, but he could say that he trusted Jordan more than he could throw a lot of people. He opened the door for the boy before he followed him in, stopping in Perseus' room to borrow a movie. He lead him back to his own room, fishing in his pocket for the key so he could open it. The floor was littered with pink toys and small books, proof the coroner hadn't been in there much lately. "Sorry. Like father like daughter." He mumbled, tossing the papers to the top of the dresser.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan bit his lip, but no actual anger seemed to roll off of Deacon so he didn't take it too hard. He mumbled a thanks as the door was opened, trailing through the wards and waiting for Deacon before following him into the dorm room and looking around at the toys and books. "It's okay.." He breathed, glad that Deacon was at least taking a break from his stressful work. He definitely needed it. Jordan fixed his bandanna, hesitating before taking aseat on the edge of the bed.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon put his coffee on the dresser after he'd drank half of it, then worked himself out of his jacket and button-down shirt. He tossed them to beside Jordan on the bed. He started picking up Bandit's toys, tossing them into the bin at the foot of his bed. "I swear, if this kid makes any bigger of a mess, I'm sending her to Perseus." He grumbled. He almost missed having her there to make noise. He walked back to the dresser to grab the movie. He opened the case, and shook his head, holding out a white bag to Jordan. "Want this? Perce sure as fuck don't need it. Not if he's hiding it in movies."

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan watched him toss the shirt and jacket down, drawing a leg up under himself. What wasn't expected was the bag offered out. He bit his lip, uncertaint. Hell, it could be a trick, a test. It wasn't often Jordan took anything but prescription pills, and of course, more recently cough syrup. But this? Rarely.
Still, he was desperate, running try on that numb feeling.
He reached out and took the white packet, fingers running over it thoughtfully before he looked back up at Deacon again in question.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon shrugged his shoulders as he took it, popping the disc out of the case. He put it in the DVD player, then sat down on the other end of the bed so he could stretch his legs out. "I used to do it. It doesn't bother me. So long as you don't turn into a hyper freak like PJ. In which case, just put it in your pocket. And don't tell anyone where you got it." He folded his arms under his head, nudging Jordan with his foot. "You're closer to the remote."

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan was still caught up in a mental debated. But when Deacon nudged him, he huffed and picked up the remote, handing it to him. Fishing around in his pocket for a dollar, he rolled it up and opened the packet, eyes closing atls he took what he felt was needed.
Deacon had refused even a pill earlier.. But maybe..
Jordan offered out what was left. "You could use it.." Heoffered a charming smile no harm intended. Deacon needed to unwind for once.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon flipped on the TV, pressing play on the remote. He shook his head when Jordan offered, tucking his hands behind his head again. "Don't even get me started. I'm never gonna stop." But you never did stop, did you? It went on and on, lying there deep inside you like a man in the dark. He chewed on his lip then sighed, leaning over to Jordan. He swung his legs off the side of the bed, doing his line on the side table before he layed back again, looking back at the TV. "No one hears about this."

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan just nodded, as if he hadn't seen in the firwt place. He couldn't be a hypocrite about these things, and he didn't plan to be. Sitting awkwardly a moment later, he finally scooted back hesitantly, and took the other half of the bed, eyes foxing on the tv.