[OPEN] forever unforgiven

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor didn't know why, but the worry Quinn showed, the kisses down his neck, had him crying more. Arms wrapped around the male's neck tightly and he drew in a trembling breath to try and calm himself before he made himself sick. He closed his eyes until the tears slowed, found he was exhausted and didn't bother lift his head, relaxing. He just missed Adam so much... The way Quinn was acting had triggered too many memories far too fast.

[tarquin finley ellis]

He felt deflated at the fact that Connor was still crying; more, even. His throat was constricted, and he simply held to the male as the arms wrapped tightly around his neck. There was a sad little sigh, but he didn't move at all save to breathe. He kept still as he felt Connor start to relax. Quinn found that he wanted to save the creature in his arms so badly that it hurt. And the worst part was the fact that he just couldn't. He remembers, and none of it is lost on him. He's reluctant to let it all sink in, and he doesn't intend to let go that easily, but he still knows.

He doesn't ask why about the tears, what had made Connor upset like that; he'd rather not know right now, because he doesn't know what to do in the first place to make any of it better, and he doesn't want to make Connor cry anymore, doesn't want to cause any pain by asking. There are times when it's best to be silent, and so Quinn is. He attempts to comfort the male, wondering if it would only make things worse again.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor had had too much stress the past two days, had broken and tried to fix too many things. It was taking a toll on his already worn mind and body. He wasn't sure he could take much more. Not without tears or defeat. But for now, he relaxed even further against Quinn, and his breaths slowed back down to their usual, slightly irregular shudder. Blue eyes did not open, his thinfingers playing over the neck of Quinn's shirt to distract himself from the drying tears on his face.

[tarquin finley ellis]

It was easier with Connor relaxed against him, with the male's breathing back to, well, as close to normal as it seemed to get. He closed his eyes at the feel of fingers at the neckof his shirt, quite liking the feeling of it. He stayed like that for a few more minutes, pondering over things, over what to do next. None of this was all that simple, but Quinn had to do what he could to take it all in stride. There was still much he didn't know about the male he held, but he supposed he knew enough. At least enough to care, even if Connor himself did not.

Hands slide gently over Connor's back, wanting to be soothing as much as possible. Of course it occurs to him that tears like that could wear a person out -- well, what caused them more then anything -- and that might mean that Connor could be tired. It doesn't take Quinn long to debate that one out in his mind. "Would you like to sleep for awhile? I'll hold you for a bit, if you want." The inquiries are soft, and Quinn strokes some hair out of the side of Connor's face, rubbing his thumb over the male's cheek as lightly as possible.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor eased into the silence, beginning to drift. He was startled into reality by the touch on his cheek and he raised his head to look at him. Not bothering with words he just nodded, then hesitantly climbed from Quinn's lap and pulled the blankets back, slipping his thin body beneath them. He felt cold, feet started to ache from that lack of natural warmth. A sleepy smiled was offered to the other male, barely awake enough to even realize he'd done it. He reached for Quinn's arm, pulling it close.

[tarquin finley ellis]

He twitched at the startled way Connor raised his head, but he was eased by the nod. Watching as the male moved to pull the blankets back, Quinn moved the abandoned bowl from the bed onto the stand as Connor got comfortable under the blankets. He returned the smile, and when his arm was reached for and pulled close, Quinn moved into place next to the male. He curled his arm a little better around Connor and tried to regulate his warmth in a manner that would keep the male from getting chilly. Settled in now, Quinn closed his eyes.

He didn't really sleep so much as rest his eyes for a little bit, just thinking for awhile on everything that had happened since he'd gotten to this place. The day that Connor had gotten here, even. Quinn doesn't keep track of the time, doesn't need to. Nothing was planned for the rest of the day anyway as far as he knew, and he'd have probably just watched a movie or something if Connor hadn't been around. A cigarette might be nice -- he was all too addicted -- but he pushed that craving to the back of his mind. After some time, he opened his eyes, simply looking at Connor, the male's wings, anything, in silence.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor felt the new warmth coming from Quinn's body and he smiled sleepily agaimst, closing his eyes. Rolling to face the other male so he was comfortable, he nestled up close. Connor, so used to sleeping alone, always slept uneasily. But eventually he drifted into exhausted sleep huddled up next to Quimn, and he relaxed completely. It wasn't less than a good two hours before he began to stir again.

[tarquin finley ellis]

He was a little surprised when Connor rolled to face him and nestled close, but he didn't say anything, didn't try to move away. It was a little awkward feeling at first -- Quinn wasn't much of a cuddler -- but he stayed where he was, letting the male get comfortable and drift off to sleep. It was easier to look at Connor from that angle, just tilting his head down a little, quite warmed by the way the male looked while sleeping. And of course he did keep the warmth he was radiating at a controlled level, making sure not to let Connor get cold.

There are many thoughts that flow through Quinn's mind as he holds Connor, and there's a certain point in time where having the male huddled close brings to mind a few things that Quinn shouldn't let his mind run with. But once the thoughts turn that way, there's no stopping it. The best he can do is keep still and calm; which isn't an easy feat for Quinn, since keeping still is not something he's much good at. Yet he does it, not knowing it's been about two hours he's been laying here when Connor starts to stir. The slight movement breaks his control, and he rubs up against the male's hip with a shiver with a barely audiable groan.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor opened sleep-hazed blue eyes as Quinn trembled and brushed against him. He bit he lip, not bothering pull away from the other male. Cool fingers traced over the arm draped around him and he yawned, carefully stretching beneath the blankets. His wings ruffled a bit before relaxing again, one falling to drape lightly across both of them in the slightest.

Connor wasn't sure what time it was or how long he had been asleep, just that it had been so long since he had waken up by another, that he realized exactly how lonely he had become.

[tarquin finley ellis]

He looked back when Connor's eyes opened, noting the way the male bit his lip. Goosebumps rippled along his arm at the touch of Connor's fingers, and with the ruffling of wings and they way one draped a little over him, Quinn's lips quirked upward in a small smile. One hand ran down Connor's side lightly, curling to rest on the male's hip. Quinn was warm and a little moody right now, but for now it was more likely for him to stay gentle. The drowsiness made his movements a little sluggish as it was, but it didn't change the hormones bouncing through his veins.

He regarded Connor with an open gaze, considering. "Did you sleep well?" He asks after a moment, waiting for an answer. He pressed a little closer, not moving fast at all, leaning and ducking a little to lightly touch the side of his face to Connor's shoulder. It's been awhile since there has been anyone in his bed, and it's a curious sort of feeling to watch someone sleep there, then wake up. Yet there is also the fact that he has certain desires, and this was quite a tempting sort of situation to be found in. So far, he was doing pretty good not jumping the male then and there.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor smiled sleepily. "Good," He murmured, searching Quinn's face. He tilted his head a bit as the male's cheek found his shoulder. He was content, completely warm for once with the extra heat. "Mm.." He murmured, shifting his weight slightly. It was odd, so fearing of people and yet he was lying in bed with another male. Maybe because he had yet to see any aggression. Though such possessive antics could have very well become a problem, expecially if Connor managed to finally fix things with Deacon.

[tarquin finley ellis]

Problematic. That was a good word for Quinn. To himself, to others; there was no getting around it, not really. He was a difficult, demanding creature. Normal had jumped ship years back, before he could even form key personality traits that could have avoided all of this. Things had set over time, because of situations he'd been in. There was no way back from that.

There was a pleased feeling curling through him at Connor's smile, the fact that the male said he'd slept well. Quinn wanted to reach out, keep Conner feeling good longer. Yet for now he's hesitant enough; he's not quite sure if there would be anything else to start the tears back up, and he hates that feeling, being helpless against these issues. With Connor around, there's quite a few of those feelings. He understands the older ones, the dangerous ones, but this? It's utterly confusing for him. But he still burns to be close, to keep it anyway.

He nuzzles the side of his face against Connor's shoulder, a soft, happy sound rumbling in his throat. Fingers move slowly over the skin of the male's torso; exploring carefully, thoughtfully. It's strange to him, but he doesn't recoil in disgust. It bothers him, certainly, but it would be less unsettling if it wasn't a sign of how badly Connor was deteriorating by the sickness and getting that much closer to death. "I want you;" His voice is light, and he pulls back enough to find Connor's eyes with his own; studying the reaction. "But I want you to feel good, too. Is there something you like that I can do?" The words are barely above a whisper; it's taking a lot for him to be like this. There's limits to how far he can push himself, but he'll try if he can.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor reached to run his fingers through Quinn's hair. He bit his lip at the initial words, his eyebrows furrowing. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to take this further. Still, he was worried of ruining things by turning the male down. He needed someone, anyone...just strived to have somebody care. Usually it left him hurt. But he'd been so rejected in his life, it was almost too much. He wasn't sure how much rejection he could even take.
The gentle hands over his torso, each mark and each jut of bone, it was nice, relaxing.
So, uncertain, Connor's lips brushed Quinn's ear as he leaned close, fingers dancing slowly across the male's chest. "Treat m-me like I matter..."
Only then would he allow it. So many on the streets when he had got in the bad habit of selling himself, he.d been treated like trash. The hepatitis had been a scare on his already sick body. And when the abuse at hom got worse, he'd veered away from quick cash on the streets unless it was dealing drugs.

[tarquin finley ellis]

He tilted his head closer to the fingers running through his hair, liking the feel of it. "You can pull my hair if you'd like. I actually kinda enjoy it..." He pointed out lightly. It was one of those random little facts he was comfortable sharing with Connor at this point. And Quinn was quiet after that, trying to read the male's expression to his words. He made no move to do anything else, didn't say anything else while he waited for the words, the answer; whatever would come. He wanted to do something for Connor, wanted to please the male somehow, but he wasn't exactly good at judging what or how to do that.

He quivered with desire when Connor leaned close, those lips brushed his ear. Then Quinn could feel the fingers at his chest and he inhaled slowly. The words, when they did finally come, made him blink and raise his hand to the male's cheek. It was Quinn's turn to furrow his eyebrows, a little confused. "You do matter. Am I very terrible at showing it? I suppose I'm not really used to attempting it...." He looked a little unsure, trying to remember how other people might act. Quinn had been breaking some of his own comfort zones for Connor's sake, and it alarmed him that these things weren't enough, that maybe he was too far gone for any of this.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor bit his lip at the question, shaking his head. "No, I s-see it.. I've j-just been so physically a-and mentally cut down, I-" He searched helplessly for words he didn't have to express his fears, his problems. Finally he gave up. Those fingers in the male's hair paused and it was his turn to bury his face in the should of the other. "Just don't h-urt me...I'm tired o-of being hurt.." And the way it was spoken meant not just with what they were doing, but everything physically, mentally and emotionlessly. He really didn't think he could take it again. And certaintly not in such a place as this, where no matter what happened, you were stuck with these people pretty much your entire life.