[OPEN] forever unforgiven

[tarquin finley ellis]

Quinn listened to the words, not entirelly sure if it was making him feel much better yet. He figured he was bad at all of this, but maybe he didn't know how much he was letting slip through the cracks. It took seconds for his mind to run through all the things he might have missed here, and he tried to make sense of what might make it seem like he cared more. He was at a lost there, struggling already with what he had been doing. What had he been missing? Oh. He twitched at a thought that had come, but shoved it away.

Then Connor's face was at his shoulder, and Quinn held him close as he heard the words. "Aren't we all?" Was the soft reply, but he went on, knowing the other part needed to be said; "I'll try very hard not to hurt you." He added, knowing that promising anything more wouldn't be fair; he could very well hurt the male on accident, and as much as he wanted to avoid that, it was still possible. And still, his mind wasn't far from where it had started. "I have to admit I'm not completely sure how comfortable this'll be with your wings... Perhaps if you're in my lap?" He strokes over the feathers absently, thinking.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor smiled at him faintly, hadn't meant to male it seem like Quinn was in the wrong. He shifted his weight some on the bed, drawing in a breath as he listened. It made sense enough but... He was already pushing his limits. Even so, Connor found himself agreeing softly to this, lifting his head from Quinn's shoulder to search his face. He must have been crazy, giving himself away to the male again with a problem.

[tarquin finley ellis]

His focus was riveted back when Connor shifted, reaching out to play with the male's hair. Quinn was up for suggestions on what would be more comfortable, but honestly, the mere idea of having Connor in his lap was thrilling. He couldn't help the feeling, but he wasn't intending to be selfish about his. Quinn wanted Connor to enjoy it too, and so he'd work on that. With the agreement on position, and the way Connor was looking at him, Quinn looked back with an open expression on his face. "I'll look after you." He said gently, touching over the male's face.

Then he was leaning closer, kissing at Connor's neck and letting his hands roam over the male, caressing over the skin in a sweet, adoring manner. Quinn moved lower, pressing kisses over Connor's chest. He paused for a moment, looking back up to the male's face, curious and thoughtful. "Let's see what you might like, hm?" The words were light, and his fingers were already working at removing Connor's pants. Quinn could take this nice and slow, make sure the male liked something about it. He could try a few things and see. Which Quinn proceeded to do as things faded.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor couldn't help but tilt his head obediently to the side at the kisses, his blue eyes closing. The words that left Quinn's lips brought a smile to his own. Maybe that was all he needed, somebody to look after him and care, somebody to be in charge even if that's all they would ever be.

Connor drew in a breath at the lower kisses, nodding in silent agreement. He helped with his jeans as best he could, his fingers finding Quinn's hair as he bit down gently on his own lip and searched the eyes of the othermale, giving him unspoken permission to continue.

---

Connor reached to touch Quinn's cheek gently, watching him with once more tired blue eyes. "Mm..ai c-came here without y-y-you knowing me fr-rom Adam...why care..?" A faint smile crossed his lips.

[tarquin finley ellis]

He was relaxed and warm, sated and content with Connor tucked back at his side. It's interesting, the changes that come from the need to be gentle, careful with someone. As if it's alright to be a little vunerable if the other was fragile. Quinn doesn't exactly know how all that works. This is too new to him, but it gives him a moment to take a step back and think. He has to admit that he's never had the urge to really look after someone else, not like with Connor. Quinn feels altogether protective; wants to hold the male close, and yet Quinn knows none of it might change anything in the end.

He felt the touch to his cheek and let his eyes run over Connor's face, listening to the words. Quinn is quiet for a moment, wondering over the same thing. "I don't really know. You're different, and I like being around you. I told you some of my issues, things I've done, and instead of recoil, you accepted it without trying to cut into me for it." He responded in low, even tones. These things mattered to him, and with all the doom and gloom the male seemed to pour out, Connor couldn't really bring Quinn down from it. "You gave me a reason to care when I needed it most." He added softly.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor shifted his weight carefully, quietly listening to what Quinn had to say. "Huh.. That's a first.." He mumbled with a weak smile, shrugging. "I-I'm not worth all that much...h-hell..I couldn't even f-fix things with the coroner.." His eyes darkened, that self worthlessness was some thing he often treated himself with. One way or another it was going to get him killed, suicide or not. He very well may have been one of the lowest people here. It would get him hurt, his desperation, his loneliness.

[tarquin finley ellis]

Quinn felt the way Connor shifted, wondering if he should move to make it more comfortable, but deciding to just lay there and wait it out. At the male's response, Quinn gave a open sort of look. Of course when Connor went on with words, Quinn tensed a little and looked away, frowning. Then he swallowed any anger and simply got up out of bed, looking for a towel. "I'm gonna take a shower." Were the words, as if the towel didn't clue Connor in on what he intended to do. Honestly though, it was just a way to keep calm, and also to get away from any conversation that had to do with the coroner.

He didn't like it, having to deal with that set of feelings after sex. Quinn had wanted to relax, to pretend he mattered for a minute. Obviously not going to happen, and it was just best not to go into it now. Quinn had to shrug it off and focus on something else for now. He glanced back at Connor before going; his expression oddly blank. "You are worth more then you think." Came the words, and then Quinn was walking away to take that shower, not giving much thought on whether Connor was going to stay around or leave before he got out.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor bit his lip at the sudden change in mood. "I'm sorry..." He whispered brokenly. He was just fucking things up with everybody, wasn't he..? Was he ruining another oppurtunity?
He watched Quinn go, and sat up, coughing. He needed his medication. Getting up on shaking legs, he picked a black feather up off the floor and set it on Quinn's pillow, planning on possibly returning.

He made his way towards the mutation ward and his room, grabbing his medication and a water and swallowing two of the pills. Turning back towards his door, he made his way to the other male's room again, touching at his suddenly tight chest and stomach.

[tarquin finley ellis]

A shower was a good way to let his frustrations out, mostly because he could turn on the cold water and let the heat and fire out. It ended up in a very steam filled shower, but it did help. So he let that run for a little bit, then started washing up. He wasn't sure how to deal with the coroner problem -- Quinn could face him head on and see what it was all about -- but then there was the all too real fact that none of that ment a thing if this was all one sided anyway. Still, Quinn wasn't willing to just let go. He had a reason, and he was going to hold to that.

It wasn't as if he'd wanted to feel any of this; that was certainly not his intention at all. It just seemed to happen, and there wasn't much he could do about it now. Stop it, ignore it and push Connor away? It could work, possibly. But Quinn did not wish to do those things. Once back in his room, he threw the towel in the hamper and grabbed some boxers and jeans to put on, then flopped back on his bed with a huff. He turned his head at the sight of the feather on the pillow and reached for it. Sighing, he got up and settled into the chair at his desk, thinking and rubbing his temple.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor swallowed, pulling his hand from the door knob and leaning against the wall, breaths wavering. "F-fuck.." He whispered, tilting his head. The pain eased, leaving him shaken. Even so, he opened the door hesitantly, gazing dizzily towards Quinn. Thoughts ran through his head, the sickened feeling having left him confused and disoriented. But even before he could ask Tarquin if he was alright, Connor was falling to his knee in the doorway, bringing a hand to his spinning head.

[tarquin finley ellis]

He had debated playing a game on the net after a few seconds, just clicking over a few links to decide on what exactly he wanted to do. Just something to chase away the boredom for a little bit. Then maybe go to the gym. Didn't really matter at this point, it was all to pass the time and get his thoughts away from other things. Like how things were progressing and how one sided it seemed to be. It made him a little uneasy, but maybe Connor would eventually start to care. If not, Quinn still would want to look after the male.

Quinn glanced up when his door opened, and when he spotted Connor, he with silent, waiting and wondering why the male was back. Of course Quinn didn't have to wait very long for something to happen, though he would have rather it not occurred; as Connor had fallen to his knees, holding his head. Alarm ran through him, and he was up and out of the chair in seconds, moving quickly to the male and trying to help hold Connor steady. "What happened? What's wrong?" His voice was rushed, worried. He didn't want to see Connor like this, and he wanted to see if there was any way to help.

[connor crayze sykes]

Fingers curled tightly around one of Quinn's hands, swallowing. "J-just...dizzy.." Connor slurred, mentally begging that it not get worse, that it pass for now or at least that his medication might help a little bit. He was so immune to things that he didn't even know if it worked anymore. Worried that if he ran out, they wouldn't replace them, not here.
Blue eyes closed and he bowed his head, his lips parted with his faint breaths while he tried to calm everything, steady and slow...

[tarquin finley ellis]

He kept an arm around Connor, holding the male's hand with the other. He'd hold Connor up if needed, and already he was debating picking the male up to put him on the bed to rest. Yet he wasn't sure if the movement from here to there might make whatever this was worse. In the end, Quinn didn't move, far too worried to risk making it worse. With Connor's words, he nodded, hoping that was all it was. It looked like a pretty bad case of being dizzy, but considering the shape the male was in, it was understandable that this could happen.

And Quinn would stay here and hold Connor for however long it took for the dizziness to pass. He pressed his lips to the male's forehead and waited for a little bit. "Is there anything I can do to make it better?" He asked gently, watching in concern. Quinn wasn't sure where Connor had been or what the male had been doing since he'd left, but he had to hope it wasn't that stressful. Quinn had tried to do the better thing by going elsewhere before getting snappish, but he didn't want Connor thinking he didn't care. He did. That was half the problem as it was.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor shook his head, trembling. "J-just let it run i-it's course.." And hope it didn't get worse, lead to heart attack or seizure and kill him because his body couldn't fight it off. It's what happened when things progressed, his organs deciding not to cooperate. It sure as hell wouldn't be his first heart attack or seizure. Thankfully however, his vision being to straighten out.

Connor let out a shaky breath, leaning up against Quinn gently, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry..."

[tarquin finley ellis]

He didn't like feeling so helpless against things, but this was just one of those things Quinn couldn't fight. He had to wait and see, and all he could do was be there for Connor as all this happened to the male. It set Quinn's nerves on edge, not knowing what could happen next, but he'd see it through because he was standing by what he had told Connor. Quinn wanted to look after the male, so he would. If it was this, just holding Connor, or holding the male's hand if he was wired up to some machine and couldn't go anywhere.

For all Quinn's faults, he had some good in him too. Might take people awhile to find those qualities, and maybe Quinn wouldn't let them close enough to do so, but they were there, hidden somewhere under the surface. He heard Connor's words and bit his lower lip. "Okay.." He didn't think he'd be able to do anything anyway. Yet a little after, he felt Conner lean against him, and Quinn blinked at the words. "It's alright, darling. Not your fault. I'm just glad I could be here. I don't want you to have to go through these things alone." He stated gently.