[CON] you're the closest to heaven..

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor paused, looking at him as tears dripped down his face. "I-...you at least have y-you daughter here, love h-her and I hope you find her. I c-came here with nothing Deacon.. A fr-riend would mean the world to m-m-me.. I never asked for more, y-you jumped toassumptions.. I'm f-fucking scared of people, love." He began to cough, then smiled bitterly "Tr-rash like me? I don't expect to be l-loved..." He sniffled, wiping at his face but it did nothing for his blurred vision. "Don't e,evem look for happiness. We're h-here and we die...and nobody g-gives it a second thought, because w-we weren't needed in the first place." Another broken smile, his blue eyes gentle, jaw trembling as his tears continued to fall. "When y-you said these were beautiful..." His wings spread. "I wished I-I could believe you. I have n-no beauty." He turned, pulling his wings close. "This pl-lace is torture... I f-figured you'd understand my want to get o-out."

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon laughed, going from annoyed to mad to pissed. "Assumptions. Really? Jenkies, gang. And here I was, thinking my best friend wasn't a liar. He doesn't /usually/ tell me that people are a-looking at me. Guess I gotta go get on his ass; ask him why he as the nerve to lie to me. And if people afraid of people tend to walk around with marks on their neck. Golly gee." He glared at the boy, more hurt than anything that the boy would lie to him. "They are beautiful, Sykes. But even Satan had wings before he fell. And I'm sure they were equally as beautiful. Superficial beauty isn't hard to come by, kleinkind. It isn't hard to come by at all. My mother? She was gorgeous. She turned heads everywhere she went. But I came home and told her 'moma, the football team said they didn't need me, I got a C in chemistry' and she took a frying pan to my head. You wanna know what she did when she found out her eldest was gay? Of course you don't. You don't like people, do you?" He could feel himself slowly but surely losing control. "If you'll excuse me, friend, I have some business to attend to. Forgive me for thinking two dying patients are a little more important than idle chatter." He turned and started back towards the library, sick of hearing the boy lie.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor stood stunned, silent. He'd been trying to keep Deacon from being hurt... Nome of this was going right at all... Deacon I-..." He didn't know what to do, say.. He'd simply lied about feeling attraction because Deacon had said it was a mistake. He hadn't wanted to wrong him. He dropped to his knees. "You know why h-he left those marks?!" He cried brokenly. "Bec-cause I was crying over you! Because I told him you kissed me a-and I didn't know how to m-make things better with you... Deac-con...." His voice cracked and he gagged, curling up in the grass, a wing draped over his thin and shaking body. Eventually he fell asleep. But Deacon's little red head yelling to stay away from Deacon haunted his dreams.

[deacon reid rudman]

"Congratu-fucking-lations. You're as much of as screw up as my own brother." He muttered. Deacon searched the library once he'd gotten there, looking through all of the books he found on fish until he found one that had a picture. He checked it out, then walked back. "Of all places to fall asleep. You really are fucking sorry." He muttered, nudging the boy with his foot. He knew if he bent down to wake him up, he'd beat him in the face with the book in his hand for being a lying prick. "Sykes, get up. If you're gonna sleep, go climb in someone's bed. No one sleeps in the grass who has half a brain." He muttered, putting his free hand into his pocket.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor flinched. "No dad-" He choked brokenly, then stirred and peered up at Deacon. "I'm the s-sorry one? I'm the one a-actually trying to f-fix this instead of being a-a complete prick. M-maybe people would help you find you d-daughter if you sh-showed some kindness." He didn't want to go back to his dorm so sick and upset, considering it would take forever for Ashley to understand. He could barely bring himself to move anyway, his body unable to find much more energy withoutfood. "I tr-ried, you can't blame me f-for this one, y-your the one pushing me away."

[deacon reid rudman]

"I'm perfectly capable of finding my daughter. I don't need a bunch of whiny crazies digging through shit because none of you can be trusted." Deacon muttered. The more the boy spoke, the more agitated he got. "Yeah. Because lying's really how normal people fix things, bro. They also act like a whore, and let people think they like said person when in reality, they're being lead on. Never did you stop and say 'well, mister coroner, you sure do go out of your way for me. You even got me permission to write my little sister. But I'm gonna show my appreciation by sleeping around. Its logical. I was upset. But you don't understand cause you're not a nut case.' You brat. Fuck you and your lying mouth. Go cry to your boy toy." He spat, walking back to the dorms. He slammed the door behind him, stalking towards his room.

[connor crayze sykes]

"I'm notbsl-leeping around!" He called after him. "Wh-who's lying.now?! You s-say you never want to pissedbe more than friends, then you get pissed bec-cause I listen to your words." He gagged, watchingbthe door slam, and fisted the tissue in his hands before curling up again. 'Fuck him, too' He thought brokenly. 'I just wanted to make things better...'

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon walked slowly back to his room, opening the door. He put his book on the bed, then walked to the bathroom to shower. It was the first time he'd bathed not in a pair of boxers since his daughter had been born. He remembered bringing home her in a tiny blanket and having to bathe her in the sink. He finally dried off, pulling on his boxers. He put on a pair of pajama pants, but the silence was killing him. Deacon walked to Derek's room, tapping quietly on the door. "Derek.." He mumbled, slowly running his hand over the door.

[derek chandler ralston]

Derek had finished the tedious hassle of brushing his teeth, and sat down to write some things in a notebook before stripping down to his briefs and climbing back in bed, this time with plans of sleeping. He had started to drift when there was a voice outside the door. Alert to the smallest things, he yawned and sat up, running a hand through ruffled hair before wandering to the door to open it. Sleepy eyes peered at Deacon, lips parting in surprise to reveal the glint of teeth. "Deacon.." He murmured.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon looked slowly over Derek, realizing just how little clothes they both had on. "Maybe I should come visit late at night more.." He teased, running his hand through his hair. "I.. I can't sleep.." He mumbled, looking down at the ground. He hated bothering Derek when they weren't on the clock. "My room's really quiet and my bed's empty.."

[derek chandler ralston]

Derek chuckled at the first remark, smirking teasingly. "Maybe." With the next words however, he frowned. Reaching out, he took Deacon's arm gently and tugged him into the room, closing the door before nodding at the bed. "Come on, I don't bite, too hard.. And you need your sleep." He kissed the side of his friend's head before wandering back towards his bed again and stretching before climbing in. Derek had never been terribly open about his sexuality, but he hadn't hidden it either. With how secluded he usually was, or the distance he had learnedto keep from groups, it just hadn't been important. But for him, it was okay to be friendly. Deacon needed it

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon bit his lip at the comment, tensing as Derek grabbed his arm. All he could remember was when it got out in the locker room that he was gay, and all the guys -no smaller than Derek- had yanked him into the showers. No one had done anything, except one guy that pinned him down, trying to get him to admit he liked what was happening. Deacon had quit the team the next day, lying to his mom saying it was bad grades. "No no nonono.." He breathed, sure he really would like it if Derek were to pin him down. And he couldn't have that. Derek was as off limits as the boy was. "I.. I can go back to my room.." He mumbled, looking away from Derek. "Make a pallet on the floor- I can't sleep /in/ your bed! N-not like this.." He trailed off. Had he stuttered? 'Fuck, a lisp and now I'm stuttering like when I was in grade school..' He thought, his green eyes looking over at Derek. "I c-cant-" he realized his hands were shaking now and shook his head, leaving out the room. 'I'm good at mistakes this week..' He thought.

[derek chandler ralston]

Derek bit down on his lip and frowned, wincing as his teeth broke skin. He watched Deacon grow panicked before leaving, and got up again, moving after him out of theroom. "Deacon no... Shh.. I wasn't going to do anything.. I just figured you might sleep better with someone on the other side of the bed." Guilt shone in his eyes, upset with himself for scaring even Deacon.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon looked back at him, chewing on his lip. "Its not.." He paused, trying to get control of the stutter he'd always gotten when he goy scared. "Its not that.. I just.. You're big." He said, realizing that explained nothing. "I just.. Never slept next to guys.. I spent t-ten years sleeping next to a woman I didn't love and the past almost two with a little girl I a-adore. I don't even let Perseus in my bed.." He looked down, rubbing at his neck.

[derek chandler ralston]

Derek frowned, reaching to wipe blood from his lip and chin. "I know...I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to scare you.." He rubbed at his face. "I just thought it would have helped, you've had a rough day and-....and I wanted to help.." He shifted his weight awkwardly, not used to comforting people.