[CON] you're the closest to heaven..

[deacon reid rudman]

After Connor had done what he'd done, he'd figured he'd probably be in his room. But asking Bandit's nurse, she'd told him they had to restitch his arms and he was in surgery. So Deacon had made his way up to the OR, his hands deep in his pockets. He felt like a fool doing this. It was crazy and stupid and he shouldn't even be worried about the boy. Yet here he was, knocking on the door to the room with his name on the door. He bit his lip as he opened it, looking over at the boy. "How're you feeling, Sykes...?" He asked quietly, not sure what he was supposed to say. He closed the door gently behind him, looking down at the floor.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor sat with both arms wrapped tightly with gauze so he wouldn't bleed out. The nurse had left to go get supplies so she could stitch him up. Wings ruffled at the knock on the door, but figuring it was her he didn't bother look up. With the voice however, Connor tensed, head snapping up to stare at Deacon warily. He tried pushing what had happened away, but he'd been so scarred by physical and sexual abuse that all he could imagine was Deacon pinning him to that table. Swallowing, he shifted his weight uneasily, heart rate spiking on the machine. "Not dead, th-that's for sure," He muttered bitterly, voice cracking. In all honesty he was hurt. Deacon had just blown him off.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon tensed as the boys heartrate spiked. He hadn't meant any harm. But that didn't mean Connor would believe him. "I.. You got mail. And Bandit drew you a picture. Maybe its a peanut or something.." He pulled the papers from his back pocket, laying them at the end of his bed. "Get better, okay?" He mumbled, turning to the door. Coming here was a mistake.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor eyed the papers, reaching for them with a scarily shaky hand. He flipped through them, biting his lip as Deacon turned to leave. "...thank y-you.." He whispered, not even completely sure what he was thanking him for in the first place, for the mail or for coming to see him..or even for saving his life. Some part of him still did want to live...

[deacon reid rudman]

"You're welcome." Deacon mumbled. He'd known the boy wouldn't care. He was just wasting his time on stupid hopes. Maybe he wasn't gay or straight. Maybe he just.. wasn't meant to be with anyone. That was far more comforting a thought than the ones he'd been having about Connor. He opened the door and walked out, putting his hands back into his pockets. 'Derek isn't wrong often. But even Derek has bad days..' He thought, nodding as he passed a nurse.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor's eyebrows furrowed brokenly as the door clicked shut. Maybe he shouldn't try fixing things... he didn't deserve to hurt anyone else, including the coroner. Maybe he should just stay away. It's not like the guy thought any differently of him compared to other patients, right...?
He sat quietly as the nurse came in and began to stitch up his arms, reading over Christy's letter and looking at Bandit's picture with a smile. He'd made his amends, done what he had told Quinn he had to do before dying. Holding the pieces, he slipped them into his pocket, determined to actually succeed this time. He snatched a card from the counter, writing 'I'm sorry' in his left-hand scrawl before waiting for the nurse to leave and snatching up some morphine and pills. He'd succeed this time.. he had to.

Slinking from the room and down the hall, he paused at the Coroner's office and set the notecard apology on the slab, then walked away without uttering a word to who was in there, starting towards the bathrooms in silence.

[deacon reid rudman]

"Right.. I need X-rays from Endsley and Strosteven. All of them. And if you could fax the two deceased to me.." His green eyes looked towards the door as someone passed, then back down at the paper he was writing on. "It's so I can complete these two reports, yes. Can you run it past Ensley and Strosteven's doctors that I'd like updated x-rays of the two of them? And if you could run a lab on them, preferably blood pressure, blood- yeah. thanks." He hung up the phone, putting the note on Derek's desk before he walked out. He eyed the paper there, biting his lip. It was written by someone left handed. But who did he know who was left handed? His best guess was Connor. He ran down the hall, looking both ways before he started down the one he figured the boy would go down.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor coughed huskily, tucking his wings close as he locked himself into a stall and drew his legs onto the toilet seat with him. He pulled the morphine needle from his pocket, hands shaking from the recent stitching and cuts. Twisting off the cap of the random pills he had snatched, he downed several, then brought the needle to his arm, emptying it into a vein slowly. A baggy or morphine tabs as well. All he wanted was an overdose, let it damage his breathing, slow his heartrate, drag him into sleep he would never have to wake up from...

Tears fell slowly down his cheeks, the empty bottle and the needle falling to the floor as he wrapped his aching arms around his knees.

[deacon reid rudman]

"Sykes?" Deacon called, pushing open a few doors. He didn't think he was dumb enough to go into a bathroom, but he wasn't going to put it past him. He pushed open the door, flinching as he heard a bottle drop. "Sykes, come out of the stall or I will come in there and get you." He said, closing the door behind him. This boy never learned, did he? "I didn't mean to scare you the other day, okay? I just had to hold you still so you could get your arms wrapped.. I.." He sighed, watching the stalls for any movement. "I just wanted to help you.. Just come out so we can talk, okay?"

[connor crayze sykes]

Perhaps Connor wouldn't have picked a bathroom had he not been so desperate. Hell, he didn't even know why he had written an apology. But when Deacon tensed he swallowed, drawing in shaky breaths, trying to keep quiet, muffle the cough forming in his throat. He hadn't wants to be helped.. that was the problem. All they were doing was tests and torture... he'd prefer death over that so much more...

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon sighed, rubbing at his face. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. "Connor.. I.. Please.." He pleaded, biting down on his lip. "I already can't stop thinking about you as it is.. If you die, you'd really haunt me." Maybe Derek hadn't been entirely wrong. "Please. Come talk to me.. I hate talking to a wall. What I wanna tell you, I wanna tell you to your face.." He said, loud enough for Connor to hear him.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor coughed weakly, hesitating. The stuff was in his system already.. maybe Deacon wouldn't notice until it was too late. But his desperation was making him naive. Deacon would probably notice plenty. Still, he staggered unsteadily to the stall door, leaning against it some as he fumbled with the sliding latch, opening it. He didn't leave the doorway of it, instead leaning heavily against the metal frame, wings trailing the floor, not bothering lift them.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon couldn't help thinking how gullible the people around here were. A few nice words and they were wrapped around your finger. Maybe they all needed a little reassurance. All Deacon wanted was numb. "You're just like Perseus. No wonder I think of you as a little brother. Only my mother probably would have beat you like she beat me, day in and day out. You're not the only one who had a horrible parent." He opened the door, cold eyes locking with Connor's. "Come on. Off to the nurses you go."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor flinched, more hurt than ever that he had been tricked, all a set up. Deacon was like the rest of them.. Had it been like that from the start? Just for his cooperation?
Tears spilled down Connor's cheeks, feeling utterly betrayed. But the comment cause him to tense. "F-fuck you," He choked. "You'll n-never be my brother, h-he died when my life went to sh-shit. You mean nothing to me." He voice cracked, the words hurting more than they should have. He wanted Deacon to care....

[deacon reid rudman]

The fact Connor told Deacon he meant nothing to the boy was all Deacon needed to hear. He'd stop caring if it meant the end of him. The boy really was nothing. "Fine by me, kid. I don't need another Perseus. One little annoying brother is enough. Two is overkill. You wouldn't be worthy of the Rudman last name anyways. Now get your narrow behind out of this door before I drag you myself." He told him, not caring anymore. Everything he'd came to tell the boy just went out the window. "I'm being serious. You have two seconds before I tackle your ass."