like a shadow on the wall | Connor

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor just nodded. He drew in a breath at the nip to his thigh, watching Quinn sorawl. Reaching out to play with his hair, Connor found he was in an interesting position. Quinn was still sticking around. Yet Connor had been looking to be friendly with Perseus, the coroner's brother. It was all so confusing, and eventually, Connor would drive himself mad from the stress.

But not now, not so numb to such insecurities as he was with this new injection.
Quinn had begun to speak again, almost hesitant, and Connor's lips curled into just as hesitant a smirk. He normally wouldn't have been so comfortable. Not with how his own father had hurt him before. But not now. He was too challenging of even his own lack in trust. He just pulled Quinn's head a little closer in his lap. "Yeah?"

[tarquin finley ellis]

When Connor reached out to play with his hair, Quinn tilted his head into the feeling. He liked having hands at his hair far too much for his own good, and it was keeping his thoughts from food right this minute, which was good. Anything to hold that off for longer. Of course it had been only seconds since he'd been eating chips anyway, so his stomach shouldn't be complaining too much for a little while. That might be wishful thinking, yet it would take longer for him to get dizzy from the want to eat, or too blinded by it to think of much else. He had some time.

Quinn wouldn't let himself think that Connor was getting overly friendly with others. So far there wasn't any proof of such a thing, and honestly, it simply did not register that something like that could happen right now. Quinn was not letting those thoughts enter his mind, because it would do no good. After speaking, letting the words die from his lips, he glanced at Connor's face, seeing the smirk and then looking away. He scooted forward as his head was pulled closer into the male's lap, and at the question, Quinn nodded. "Mhm." It was a quiet murmur.

[connor crayze sykes]

"Well, I-I'm not saying n-no.."Connor murmured, bright blue eyes looking down at Quinn as the other scooted close. He shifted his weight a bit, stretching his wings out slowly as he yawned. The pills had started to kocl in and he was running at a fine numb over pain right now, the muscles in his body relaxed while he played with the other male's hair. He couldn't currently be more content than he was.

[tarquin finley ellis]

He shifted a little, laying his head to press the side of his face on Connor's thigh as he listened to the murmured words. He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and reached out to trace his fingertips over the male's other leg, absently staring ahead. "You don't want me. It would just be an idle fuck that you'd hold over me. You have no problem tossing me aside like trash as it is." He responded quietly. It was bad enough that Quinn was taking jabs at his own ego to explain these things, to say them aloud or confess shit at all.

At least he can enjoy the touching and playing with of his hair, and he figures that'll have to be enough for now. There are things on his mind, questions on the tip of his tongue that he can't quite bring himself to ask, but he still wants to. He wants to know, and yet he doesn't think he can deal with the answers that he'll get. Quinn knows what not to ask; the things that have already been answered, but there's still quite a few other things that pop into his head that he wishes he had a good answer to. But it's not worth asking, not worth finding out because of the answers that he doesn't want to hear that could come.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor shifted his weight at the touch over his leg. "F-fine then," He muttered flatly, wings pulling tight against himself. He pushed Quinn's head gently off his lap. "I-if it's just a casual fuck, y-you were just giving a casual cuddle, huh?" Took a hypocrite to know one.

He got up and crouched, fishing through his mini fridge for a soda bottle filled with beer, grabbed a second one and tossed it quietly towards Tarquin.

[tarquin finley ellis]

He stilled at Connor's response, the way the male's wings were pulled in tightly. When his head was pushed off Connor's lap and more words came, Quinn groaned a rolled over, head turned to glare at the male. "Don't be a jerk, you knew I wanted you. This isn't casual to me." He sneered, watching Connor fishing through the mini fridge. Of course he couldn't help but perk up a little at the thought of food in there. So annoying, that. But his attention was on the soda bottle tossed at him. He sat up, caught it easily and eyed it curiously.

It wasn't the soda on the label, that much was obvious. He unscrewed the cap and took a whiff. Beer. He debated whether or not to drink it for a few seconds, then sighed and took a gulp anyway. "I'm pretty sure you throw casual out the window when you sleep next to someone nearly every night." He added, not quite under his breath as he watched Connor with dark eyes.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor glared right on back, chugging down half the bottle in his hand as if it were nothing. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Maybe." He muttered. "I-I stopped trying to feel, Quinn, n-not after the c-coroner, then th-the first fight with y-you. I won't be h-h-hurt like that nomore, n-nobody gets in like that, p-past mutually needed comfort, or casual." He sneered right on back, finishing his beer and setting the bottle in the fridge, reaching for another.

[tarquin finley ellis]

There were a few more gulps of the beer, but Quinn was actually a bit hesitant with alcohol, amusingly enough. Still, right now; what the hell. Might as well go for it. Maybe it would lighten his mood or something. It was possible. When Connor sat at the edge of the bed and spoke, Quinn hunched his shoulders up, crossed his arms and looked away. "Asshole." He ground out. The beer wasn't really helping things. His mood was just getting more sour, though to be fair, it probably had nothing to do with the beer at all, anyway.

Quinn sort of wanted to hit something right now, though he was trying to curb the impulse. "The first fight wasn't even my fault. You pushed me away first. You hurt me so I hurt you back." He spat after a few moments, looking frustrated. And he still tried to be somewhat there for Connor. He obviously didn't sleep next to the male for his own comfort. His upper lip curled at the mere thought of it. Then he took another drink of the beer, starting to just finish it without anymore hesitation.

[connor crayze sykes]

"So?" Connor growled. Normally it would have been his confused apologies, letting himself get hurt, feeling bad, being submissive..
But that pride had been sparked again. This wasn't him, this was the monster that was usually unleashed only when he was drunk and stoned dangerously out of his mind. This pride thing? It was going to drive him insane. Connor didn't have the proper mentality, he was too close to broken beyond repair.

He sat back down again with his second drink, and started chugging that one as well. "Bitch," He shot back with a sneer, cold blue eyes no longer his own.

[tarquin finley ellis]

There was a low rumble working up his throat at the first comment. Quinn wanted to kick Connor for it, but all he did was sit there tightly wound, muscles tense. His jaw twitched but he didn't say anything just yet; trying to diffuse his own creeping anger. Quinn knew it could get way out of control fast with Connor pushing at him like this. He was already having issues with the side effects of the injections, the irritable urge to eat just about everything he could get his hands on and the fact that such a thing was dangerous to his own health in a way he didn't like.

Quinn felt his body go very still when Connor called him a bitch. How dare he say such a thing! Of all insults, to use that one right after all the things said.... that was a low fucking blow. He inhaled quickly, sharply and let his eyes rest on the winged male. A frozen sort of stare down. "Shut the fuck up, you mangy pigeon." He snarled crossly.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor laughed coldly, dropping the empty body onto the floor. He was trying to be numb, trying to fight off this odd, cynical behavior. "M-mangy pigeon? What are y-you? A man wh-whore fireplace?" Blue eyes narrowed in challenge, unaware that they were both being affected by unimaginable side effects that were clouding both of their judgments. This wasn't either of them, completely. Tonight they would both make bigger mistakes than usual.

[tarquin finley ellis]

Quinn pushed his empty bottle away, hands itching far too much to break the damn thing and brandish it around like a madman. Great. Alcohol mixed with injection crap. Just what he needed to deal with. Not. His hands clenched into fists at what Connor said next, all but shaking now that anger was settling down into his bones. "Excuse me, you're calling me a whore? You would have thrown yourself on Lexi for fucking drugs!" He snapped out; his own eyes slitting as he stared at the male.

He was moving before he could even think about it, shoving Connor. It wasn't too hard; he was still somehow aware of the male being fragile in the back of his mind, but he was only barely holding back. He wanted to slap Connor around, and he had no idea what was stopping him at this point. He hovered over the male with a snarl over his lips. "Would you agree to be mine if I were to drug you up all the time?" He was being cold and cruel, but right now he didn't care.

[connor crayze sykes]

"S-so? I-I've f-fucking thrown myself at a lot shittier f-for less!" He had, for a few bucks, for the most meager of fixes. He growled as he was shoved, a hand striking swiftly across Quinn's face almost instantly. "I-I don't know, maybe! Bec-cause then I'm s-so fucked up, I-I don't have to feel the pain in my body e-every day, or the fear of being r-raped with every god damn touch!" He shoved right back, blue eyes blazing.

[tarquin finley ellis]

There was a choking gasp, though it wasn't the strike to the face that had caused it. That part had stung, but a lot less then the words had. Quinn had taken the words in the worst way possible; it was so much more horrible then a slap to the face could be. He barely even heard the rest of what Connor had said; curling listlessly with an agonized whimper on the bed.

Quinn blinked rapidly, then squeezed his eyes shut to keep himself from letting his eyes water. No, he wasn't going to fucking cry. Certainly not in front of Connor. But the words had cut right through him, because all he could think was that he was obviously a whole hell of a lot 'shittier' then anyone else Connor knew if what had been said was true.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor stared at him. But the whimper had him blinking, rubbing warily at his face, eyebrows furrowing. His head was spinning this way and that, fighting back and forth. "I...f-for fuck's s-sake.." He choked. He sat down, reaching out. Eyes were still cold, but it was changing rapidly, confused, ready to snap. He touched Quinn's cheek. "I didn't mean y-you...underst-tand that, please..." He rubbed at his face, snarling in agitation. "God damn f-fucking testing- urg!" He kicked at the edge of the bed harshly as he stood, wings spreading, pissed at how his own actions and head were being altered.