[CON] you're the closest to heaven..

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor flipped him off. "Why s-save me? Y-your just adding to the fucking torture!" He screeched, gagging. Wings spread, feathers fluttering. He didn't know what to do...was just hurt and confused and scared... It was making him rash.
He bolted, coughing breathlessly as he scampered down the hall and outside, wiping angrily at the tears falling down his face. then fingers curled over the bars once he reached the gate, struggling to climb high enough, reach the electrified barbed wire... or maybe even fall to his death.

[deacon reid rudman]

"JUST GO FUCKING DIE, YOU COWARD!" Deacon screamed after him. He was done trying to help. Helping had gotten him this far. And 'this far' just ended with him thinking he'd ever have a chance with anyone. "You're nothing but a fucking coward. I hope you fucking suffocate." He muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets. He wasn't bothering going after the boy. Not this time. He was far from done. Trying to save the boy wasn't enough for Connor, then it wasn't enough for Deacon.

[connor crayze sykes]

Coward? Connor stopped trying to climb the fence, determined to prove his point. He stalked back into the building, snatching Deacon's arms angrily. "I'm a f-fucking coward?! I've s-seen your damn scars." He shoved his arms away and spun, sniffling and swiping at his tears again. "F-fucking people aren't worth shit." He muttered brokenly. "I just got scared.." He coughed, slinking down the hall, breaths shuddering weakly. Cynical, upset, he started straight for the morgue. If Deacon wanted dead, he'd get it. Then they both would have solved their problems. Connor pulled himself onto the slab, drowsy now, and closed his eyes as he panted. Wings hung off the table, body trembling with his cries. He was so done...he just didn't want to hurt anymore.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon gritted his teeth as the boy grabbed his arms. He had some nerve, coming up to him. He'd thought the world of him days ago. But now he didn't care if the boy was dead or not. "Go cry to your fucking boyfriend, faggot." He spat, shoving the boy away from him. He doubted the boy was even with anyone, but somehow the words made him feel better. 'I don't need anyone..' He told himself, tears stinging his eyes. He walked back slowly to his room with his head down. He wouldn't care if Connor really did die. He could die just as easily. But the difference between him and Connor was Deacon had someone to live for. Connor thought he had no one.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor choked on his cries. He didn't even know what to do at this point, didn't know who to turn to. There was nobody he could, not that he knew of.. not after pushing Deacon away like that. Every excuse he built up in his head could be countered though. So he didn't bother, letting the morphine kick in, finding it harder to breathe. Suffocation. Deacon was right again. He yawned, coughing softly, but didn't bother wipe his tears from his thin cheeks this time--there was no point. Hell, maybe Deacon was straight anyway, he'd been stupid to think the guy cared. The word 'faggot' got its point across enough. Glazed blue eyes closed again, and this time he was ready not to let them open. It broke his heart, imagining Deacon walking in to him dead on the table. But they both didn't want him here, and nobody else here would miss him. So why did it matter?

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon kept his head down as he walked, so many emotions washing over him that he found the numb he was looking for. If anyone was wrong, it was him. Maybe he didn't have a choice what he liked, be it guys or girls. But he did have a choice to like no one. He couldn't handle the hurt he felt when he looked at Connor. He knew he couldn't have him. Under no circumstances. So he wasn't even going to try. He opened the door to his room, not realizing he was crying until his brother asked him what was wrong. He just choked back sobs as he picked up his daughter, hugging her close. He ran his hands slowly through her red curls, holding her tightly as he rocked back and forth.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor gasped harshly, tears falling down his cheeks as he rolled onto his side to stare at the wall opposite the door. What was he doing?
He tensed at footsteps, Derek's growl. The guy called Deacon's cell, unaware of their fight, only that Connor was lying half conscious on the slab. Connor closed his eyes again as Derek approached him, gagging when fingers worked down his throat. He tensed, squirming before he was throwing pills up on the floor.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon looked at his cell as it rang, not sure he wanted to answer it. But Derek wouldn't be calling if he didn't need something. And normally, it wasn't personal. So he started out the door, followed by Perseus. His brother was making it a point to annoy him, asking him why he had been crying, why he wasn't responding. He opened the door to the morgue, eyeing Connor then Derek. He didn't care if he'd been crying.

"Ew, so this is where you guys bring the dead people.." Perseus said, eyeing the freezer. He wandered over, peeking into it. "You keep it just above freezing. That's kinda- OW LET GO OF MY EAR!" He screamed as Deacon yanked him out of the door so he'd stop talking.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor barely stirred as they walked in, Derek raising an eyebrow in confusion. He rolled Connor onto his back, careful of his wings before checking his breathing and heartrate. Connor could feel the touch on his chest, swallowing and opening his eyes hazily. But as soon as he saw Deacon he began to cry.

[deacon reid rudman]

"PERSEUS, GO HOME!" He finally screamed, irritated with the annoying younger boy.

"HE SPEAKS!" Perseus sang, reaching for Bandit. Deacon slammed the door in his face, gritting his teeth as he turned back to Derek. Did he care the boy was crying? Hell no. Let him cry. He rose an eyebrow at Derek, wondering exactly what he wanted from him. He couldn't do anything with a live person.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor looked away and Derek scowled. "He's still a patient, Deacon. Whether you hurt each other or not." Connor swallowed as Derek's arms wrapped around him and sat him up before he was checking his eyes. Co nnor tried getting to his feet, stumbling hazily. "Mm sorry...I wanna go sleep..." He didn't want to be here anymore, couldn't look at Deacon. He'd punish himself for this one, who the hell made the coroner cry? Then he did something he would most likely regret, staggering unsteadily towards Deacon. His heart rate was scarily slow, breaths shallow. Hands fisted in the male's shirt. If he hadn't been so terrified he would have kissed him. But instead he just hid his face, shaking. He could only hope he didn't pull away. "I'm s-sorry I want to die...I-I'm sorry..."

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon watched the boy walk towards him. But even with his arms around him, he couldn't bring himself to care. Bandit sniffled, trying to push Connor's head away. "Das my daddy.." She complained, trying to move so she was between the two of them. Deacon moved Bandit to his hip, gently patting the boy's back. "Just.. Go to bed." He said quietly, his voice flat. Bandit raised her hand to slap Connor, and Deacon raised his hand back to her, silently daring her to hit him. She screamed and wiggled out of his arms, running towards Derek.

[connor crayze sykes]

He really didn't care.. Connor swallowed as he pulled back, trying to hide the hurt etched in his face. But even somebody so young as Bandit had him flinching away fearfully with the threat of being hit. He watched her run to Derek, Derek crouching to pick her up. Connor just stood frozen, sickened and broken and at a loss. His burned from crying. "Y-you're right..I'm just a worthless fag wh-who needs to suffocate," He whispered. He heard Derek draw in a breath. Connor just raised his head, express ion hollow. He felt lower than he had in a long time, and the defeat was evident. Deacon had got exactly what he wanted, though Connor knew he had to take blame for it as well. His throat tightened and he turned, trying to slip past Deacon to the door before he began to cry harder.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon grabbed his wrist gently, looking the boy over. He wanted to lie and tell himself all the work he'd been doing for the boy had been worth it. That all the sleepless nights and thoughts and dreams hadn't been in vain. He didn't know if a boy like him was worth fighting for. He'd given the boy everything he could, tried to give the boy whatever it was he'd asked for. But even all the heartache and pain he'd put into what probably wouldn't amount to anything seems.. redundant. He wouldn't have been pushing Deacon away if he'd wanted him. There was plenty of people he'd give into way faster than he'd given into the coroner. Yet he still wanted to pull the boy into an embrace, tell him it was going to be okay. 'He doesn't want you.. If he wanted you, he wouldn't be fighting you.. A couple weeks from now, he'll have been with half the male population of the hospital, and you'll still be after his heart.' He thought, slowly drawing his hand back. It hurt, yeah. But nothing ever came of being easy. He held open the door for the boy with his foot, opening his arms for his daughter.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor didn't even tense at the grip on his wrist. If only Deacon had been able to read his thoughts, to realize after being hurt again like this, Connor would turn to seclusion, invert into himself until his depression drove him to the brink. If starvation didn't get their first. His lip quivered, watching Deacon, that internal battle. When his hand was released, fresh tears rushed down Connor's face and he choked on his defeated cry. The door was opened and suddenly he wanted to run jntil he collapsed, wanted to hide from everything. He hadn't even been here long and he was so done. He didn't want to be tested hurt. "I-if you were tortured in thisbplace ins-stead of working in it, you would underst-tand." Eyed driftsd past him to Derek, who only nodded solemnly. Then Connor wiped at his face even though it did him no justice, and turned to go back to his dorm, wishing he would never have to come back out.